Friday, July 02, 2004
What a week! just got back from CLW (Christian Life Week)!
CLW is a yearly week long camp run for kids from grades 8-12. I went along for the first time as a leader this year! it was very good, i think, both for the kids, and myself. I pray that a lot of them got something they could use out of it, and also that I can grow too through that experience.
Ive got alot on my mind at the moment, so i think the best thing to do is just blog it all here. as is. if anyone is reading this, you will probably have no idea at all what im talking about! :D
- Dad And I And the Church Council
- Pastor/Church council/Bad things for my home congregation
- N and her depression/ bad head space-ness.
- My feelings of unworthyness and self-putting down stuff.
- How can some people be so uncaring, and ignorant, willfully so at that.
- Why do I constantly feel drained.
- Where do I belong. What am I doing. What will I do.
- So many responsibilities. feeling like im "butter scraped too thinly over too much bread"
- I just got a new game ^_^ And have no time to play it! :P
- Does a life of servitude mean a life of self denial. Is doing something for yourself wrong then.
- Being judged on first appearences hurts
- Why do I feel bad about not clapping in worship? even though Ive made up my mind that I dont think its appropriate for me to do so unless the spirit moves me?
I know the Bible. I can give the standard Biblical and reassuring responses to all of these worries and concerns. I know the psychological issues i am going through, thanks to my studies in that field. I know why I should feel differently. But it doesnt make me feel better. I feel like crying, and at the same time, i know i should smile. I smile all the time, because that is who I am. I wear Yellow constantly because I choose to try to have an effect on others, but I sometimes just want to talk to no one at all. be alone.
"I want to be your reflector. I want to shine with your glory, I wanna let the whole world know that you're living in me, I wanna burn with your fire. Shine your light a little brighter. I wanna let the whole world know that Jesus lives in me."
- Reflector
CLW is a yearly week long camp run for kids from grades 8-12. I went along for the first time as a leader this year! it was very good, i think, both for the kids, and myself. I pray that a lot of them got something they could use out of it, and also that I can grow too through that experience.
Ive got alot on my mind at the moment, so i think the best thing to do is just blog it all here. as is. if anyone is reading this, you will probably have no idea at all what im talking about! :D
- Dad And I And the Church Council
- Pastor/Church council/Bad things for my home congregation
- N and her depression/ bad head space-ness.
- My feelings of unworthyness and self-putting down stuff.
- How can some people be so uncaring, and ignorant, willfully so at that.
- Why do I constantly feel drained.
- Where do I belong. What am I doing. What will I do.
- So many responsibilities. feeling like im "butter scraped too thinly over too much bread"
- I just got a new game ^_^ And have no time to play it! :P
- Does a life of servitude mean a life of self denial. Is doing something for yourself wrong then.
- Being judged on first appearences hurts
- Why do I feel bad about not clapping in worship? even though Ive made up my mind that I dont think its appropriate for me to do so unless the spirit moves me?
I know the Bible. I can give the standard Biblical and reassuring responses to all of these worries and concerns. I know the psychological issues i am going through, thanks to my studies in that field. I know why I should feel differently. But it doesnt make me feel better. I feel like crying, and at the same time, i know i should smile. I smile all the time, because that is who I am. I wear Yellow constantly because I choose to try to have an effect on others, but I sometimes just want to talk to no one at all. be alone.
"I want to be your reflector. I want to shine with your glory, I wanna let the whole world know that you're living in me, I wanna burn with your fire. Shine your light a little brighter. I wanna let the whole world know that Jesus lives in me."
- Reflector
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