Sunday, August 01, 2004
Ok! so, that kinda worked, but my ads are still what the academics would call: "Crapola!"
Thereby, I authorise myself to take drastic measures *sound of siren in background* release, THE RANDOMNESS! *crowd gasps in horror and awe*
I have not been entirely true with everyone here, and have indeed been living a double life. I am involved in an international effort to protect and serve all humans, and the time has come to tell you about a danger that threatens our way of life, nay, our very existence! And not only OUR lives, but the lives of our children, and our childrens children!
This danger that so many have overlooked, have even defended. Well now its time to fight back before its too late. What is this danger? Trees. Trees are our enemy, and since the beginning of the history of man, they have been scheming to destroy us, and make the world their own. Both Creationists and Evolutionists agree that trees were here before mankind. Trees and all plants having been made by God on the third day (Genesis 1:11). Mankind did indeed come afterwards, and this is what started the conflict. Trees and Treekind think that the world is rightfully theirs, and that we are subject to them. Ever since this moment, trees have planned our demise.
Many times in History, Great men have realised the danger that Trees represented. Jesus himself, recognised their evil when he cursed a fig tree, which then withered. (Mark 11:12-21). He also promoted the destruction of palm trees. The Trees however gained their revenge, by a mass conspiracy involving many, including carpenters, chief priests and even Romans, they made a deadly weapon to kill the Messiah, to attempt to stop human redemption. The Cross.
The Buddha was supposedly enlightened underneath a Bodhi tree, the results of which produced a religion that has spread rapidly over the last few centuries. But this was all a part of a huge long range plan by the Trees. The Tree fed false information to a young Gautama Buddha, in order to divert our attention by focusing our gaze inwards. This plan is so far succeeding. But they will not prevail. We will warn the world!
George Washington, first president of the United States, was another who recognised that Trees were a threat, and from a young age, took to chopping down his father’s Cherry trees.
Many people think that George washington's father was congratulating his son for his honesty. Not so. The young boy was commended for realising the threat that Trees represent.
To further prove the truth about the evil scheming trees, here is some damning evidence:
• Trees are dangerous! for centuries trees have made up Gallows, Guillotines, Bow and Arrows, Spears, spikes and many other weapons, all lethal to humans
• Trees are known to house deadly poisonous animals such as snakes, spiders and ants to mention but a few.
• Trees Produce Oxygen, through an evil process that they have termed ‘Photosynthesis.’ Through this insidious act, they release high amounts of Oxygen into the air. A single bubble of oxygen introduced to the human bloodstream is lethal.
• As if the production of oxygen isn’t enough, Trees also absorb Carbon Dioxide from the air, and at night, while we are sleeping, use it to grow larger, and more powerful.
• Trees have known terrorist links. It is true that in the desert - where 7 out of 10 terrorists prefer to hide – there are not many visible trees. This is because they have gone underground. The ferocious Cacti often serve as watchmen above ground.
The Secret movements of Tree forces. none of us are safe!
• Trees have the basis for a stable economy within their ranks. In 50 years one tree recycles more than $37,000 worth of water, provides $31,000 worth of erosion control, $62,000 worth of air pollution control, and produces $37,000 worth of oxygen. They earn more than almost the most highly paid professional per annum. And yet, do we see them paying taxes?
• A tree-line buffer between fields and streams helps remove farming pollutants before they reach the water, but does anyone know what happens to these pollutants and toxins? That’s right. Trees store chemical and biological weapons!
• Trees are fuel for fires, and fires are deadly not only to humans but to the entire animal population. Some Trees have even adapted to their human destroying roles so that they can resist the fiercest of fires while homes burn.
A Eucalypt ablaze, as a part of an attack on a human settlemnt. this tree will prosper after being burned, While Humans are not so lucky
• Trees have even insinuated themselves into our culture, and every year millions of pines are set up around the world and worshipped as a part of the Tree’s cunning plan: “Operation Christmas Tree”.
headquarters for a local nest of operatives involved in Operation: Christmas Tree.
Trees far outnumber humans in our world today, and yet there are still those who would defend their cause. Perhaps these so called ‘greenies’ are not just naieve Hippies, but have been placed under the control of Evil Trees, ala, the pod people! They actively promote the preservation of trees.
Greenies as Pod People? See the documentary: 'Invasion of the body snatchers'
So what can we do about this threat? Luckily there are a brave few who have committed their lives to the business of ending Tree plans for world domination. These heroic men sleep all night and they work all day, they’re called lumberjacks, and they’re OK!
The Noble and Heroic Lumberjack. Our last line of defense.
Many will scoff at this, and say I am insane, but true genius is never appreciated in it’s own time. My only hope is that I can warn you all now before it is too late. Remember, its them or us!
A Lumberjack looks on in horror as a huge forest surrounds him
This is the official Head of the World Anti-Tree campaign.
Good luck fellow human brothers and sisters! Fight the good fight, and we will triumph. Warn your friends! Support lumberjacks! Let our battle cry be TIMBER!
S.A.M
Thereby, I authorise myself to take drastic measures *sound of siren in background* release, THE RANDOMNESS! *crowd gasps in horror and awe*
I have not been entirely true with everyone here, and have indeed been living a double life. I am involved in an international effort to protect and serve all humans, and the time has come to tell you about a danger that threatens our way of life, nay, our very existence! And not only OUR lives, but the lives of our children, and our childrens children!
This danger that so many have overlooked, have even defended. Well now its time to fight back before its too late. What is this danger? Trees. Trees are our enemy, and since the beginning of the history of man, they have been scheming to destroy us, and make the world their own. Both Creationists and Evolutionists agree that trees were here before mankind. Trees and all plants having been made by God on the third day (Genesis 1:11). Mankind did indeed come afterwards, and this is what started the conflict. Trees and Treekind think that the world is rightfully theirs, and that we are subject to them. Ever since this moment, trees have planned our demise.
Many times in History, Great men have realised the danger that Trees represented. Jesus himself, recognised their evil when he cursed a fig tree, which then withered. (Mark 11:12-21). He also promoted the destruction of palm trees. The Trees however gained their revenge, by a mass conspiracy involving many, including carpenters, chief priests and even Romans, they made a deadly weapon to kill the Messiah, to attempt to stop human redemption. The Cross.
The Buddha was supposedly enlightened underneath a Bodhi tree, the results of which produced a religion that has spread rapidly over the last few centuries. But this was all a part of a huge long range plan by the Trees. The Tree fed false information to a young Gautama Buddha, in order to divert our attention by focusing our gaze inwards. This plan is so far succeeding. But they will not prevail. We will warn the world!
George Washington, first president of the United States, was another who recognised that Trees were a threat, and from a young age, took to chopping down his father’s Cherry trees.
Many people think that George washington's father was congratulating his son for his honesty. Not so. The young boy was commended for realising the threat that Trees represent.
To further prove the truth about the evil scheming trees, here is some damning evidence:
• Trees are dangerous! for centuries trees have made up Gallows, Guillotines, Bow and Arrows, Spears, spikes and many other weapons, all lethal to humans
• Trees are known to house deadly poisonous animals such as snakes, spiders and ants to mention but a few.
• Trees Produce Oxygen, through an evil process that they have termed ‘Photosynthesis.’ Through this insidious act, they release high amounts of Oxygen into the air. A single bubble of oxygen introduced to the human bloodstream is lethal.
• As if the production of oxygen isn’t enough, Trees also absorb Carbon Dioxide from the air, and at night, while we are sleeping, use it to grow larger, and more powerful.
• Trees have known terrorist links. It is true that in the desert - where 7 out of 10 terrorists prefer to hide – there are not many visible trees. This is because they have gone underground. The ferocious Cacti often serve as watchmen above ground.
The Secret movements of Tree forces. none of us are safe!
• Trees have the basis for a stable economy within their ranks. In 50 years one tree recycles more than $37,000 worth of water, provides $31,000 worth of erosion control, $62,000 worth of air pollution control, and produces $37,000 worth of oxygen. They earn more than almost the most highly paid professional per annum. And yet, do we see them paying taxes?
• A tree-line buffer between fields and streams helps remove farming pollutants before they reach the water, but does anyone know what happens to these pollutants and toxins? That’s right. Trees store chemical and biological weapons!
• Trees are fuel for fires, and fires are deadly not only to humans but to the entire animal population. Some Trees have even adapted to their human destroying roles so that they can resist the fiercest of fires while homes burn.
A Eucalypt ablaze, as a part of an attack on a human settlemnt. this tree will prosper after being burned, While Humans are not so lucky
• Trees have even insinuated themselves into our culture, and every year millions of pines are set up around the world and worshipped as a part of the Tree’s cunning plan: “Operation Christmas Tree”.
headquarters for a local nest of operatives involved in Operation: Christmas Tree.
Trees far outnumber humans in our world today, and yet there are still those who would defend their cause. Perhaps these so called ‘greenies’ are not just naieve Hippies, but have been placed under the control of Evil Trees, ala, the pod people! They actively promote the preservation of trees.
Greenies as Pod People? See the documentary: 'Invasion of the body snatchers'
So what can we do about this threat? Luckily there are a brave few who have committed their lives to the business of ending Tree plans for world domination. These heroic men sleep all night and they work all day, they’re called lumberjacks, and they’re OK!
The Noble and Heroic Lumberjack. Our last line of defense.
Many will scoff at this, and say I am insane, but true genius is never appreciated in it’s own time. My only hope is that I can warn you all now before it is too late. Remember, its them or us!
A Lumberjack looks on in horror as a huge forest surrounds him
This is the official Head of the World Anti-Tree campaign.
Good luck fellow human brothers and sisters! Fight the good fight, and we will triumph. Warn your friends! Support lumberjacks! Let our battle cry be TIMBER!
S.A.M
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