Thursday, September 09, 2004
Grandad died today.
He died at around 1:20pm at the nursing home. Three of his sons were there. One was attempting to drive up from Sydney with 3 hours to drive still. One was in Toowoomba, likewise trying to make it down. another of my cousins was there too along with the wives of the three brothers.
I got a phone call as i was driving a mate home from uni, that they didnt think Grandad would last the hour. My Brother was at school in an exam. and it was decided that he probably shouldnt come for this, because he had a difficult enough time seeing Grandad on the weekend.
This is the first time ive had somebody close to me die. I was in the room as he breathed his last. I watched the pulse in his neck when it stopped. The cancer in his throat had spread down and was making breathing difficult. He fought for every breath. Kind of like Grandad. a fighter.
He couldnt speak, and i think he may have been vaguely aware of us in the room.
As everyone said their goodbyes it was touching to see one of my uncles say he loved Grandad. Even through all the family strife we've had he still loves his dad.
I feel sad. I feel a certain mortality. the most usual reactions to a death. There are no longer 4 generations of Reeves' on this earth. Death comes for us all in the end.
As a Christian I have hope of a better life after death, and I feel happy for Grandad in that regard. for the last few months he has been a prisoner in his own body. Hopefully now, in death, the prisoner will be released. I dont know where he is now, but i hope and pray that while he still thought clearly that he chose the right path to take. And I pray that God will guide him home.
Death is the end of Mortality.
I wonder what sort of thoughts enter your head in those last few hours. Do you wish you had completed some of your goals and dreams? do you lament those moments when you have screwed up? What sort of fear could grip you? Up until the actual moment when you are unable to breath anymore...what are your last thoughts?
I thank God that Grandad didnt suffer long through this stage. I thank him once again that I could know Grandad. His next door neighbor and friend at the nursing home, flora, said: "Youve lost a good Grandfather. He was a good man." and by all reports he had endeared himself to the staff and his neighbors alike.
I know a good man has died today, but i know we will meet again
Au Revoir Bernie.
Rest In Peace
Bernard ALfred Reeves.
Gone to God Thursday 9th of September 2004
Later:
I cant stop thinking about it. its tearing me up. I just keep remembering seeing his pulse go. I remember watching. hoping he would take another breath. people were talking around him. but I kept watching. maybe 30 seconds later i remember my dad saying: "I think he's gone."
I cant forget the image of my Uncle. he is the ultimate Bloke. He is an engineer. he loves his beer, BBQs, normally a very loud guy.. He was crying as he leaned close and whispered. "Goodbye Dad, I love you."
I think ive passed through denial. It sucks. I can see the brighter side. but doesnt stop the pain.
I took a break at work this arvo and walked outside to watch the sunset. It had been clouded and rainy all day, but in the afternoon. the most gorgeous sunset ive seen in ages.
He died at around 1:20pm at the nursing home. Three of his sons were there. One was attempting to drive up from Sydney with 3 hours to drive still. One was in Toowoomba, likewise trying to make it down. another of my cousins was there too along with the wives of the three brothers.
I got a phone call as i was driving a mate home from uni, that they didnt think Grandad would last the hour. My Brother was at school in an exam. and it was decided that he probably shouldnt come for this, because he had a difficult enough time seeing Grandad on the weekend.
This is the first time ive had somebody close to me die. I was in the room as he breathed his last. I watched the pulse in his neck when it stopped. The cancer in his throat had spread down and was making breathing difficult. He fought for every breath. Kind of like Grandad. a fighter.
He couldnt speak, and i think he may have been vaguely aware of us in the room.
As everyone said their goodbyes it was touching to see one of my uncles say he loved Grandad. Even through all the family strife we've had he still loves his dad.
I feel sad. I feel a certain mortality. the most usual reactions to a death. There are no longer 4 generations of Reeves' on this earth. Death comes for us all in the end.
As a Christian I have hope of a better life after death, and I feel happy for Grandad in that regard. for the last few months he has been a prisoner in his own body. Hopefully now, in death, the prisoner will be released. I dont know where he is now, but i hope and pray that while he still thought clearly that he chose the right path to take. And I pray that God will guide him home.
Death is the end of Mortality.
I wonder what sort of thoughts enter your head in those last few hours. Do you wish you had completed some of your goals and dreams? do you lament those moments when you have screwed up? What sort of fear could grip you? Up until the actual moment when you are unable to breath anymore...what are your last thoughts?
I thank God that Grandad didnt suffer long through this stage. I thank him once again that I could know Grandad. His next door neighbor and friend at the nursing home, flora, said: "Youve lost a good Grandfather. He was a good man." and by all reports he had endeared himself to the staff and his neighbors alike.
I know a good man has died today, but i know we will meet again
Au Revoir Bernie.
Rest In Peace
Bernard ALfred Reeves.
Gone to God Thursday 9th of September 2004
Later:
I cant stop thinking about it. its tearing me up. I just keep remembering seeing his pulse go. I remember watching. hoping he would take another breath. people were talking around him. but I kept watching. maybe 30 seconds later i remember my dad saying: "I think he's gone."
I cant forget the image of my Uncle. he is the ultimate Bloke. He is an engineer. he loves his beer, BBQs, normally a very loud guy.. He was crying as he leaned close and whispered. "Goodbye Dad, I love you."
I think ive passed through denial. It sucks. I can see the brighter side. but doesnt stop the pain.
I took a break at work this arvo and walked outside to watch the sunset. It had been clouded and rainy all day, but in the afternoon. the most gorgeous sunset ive seen in ages.
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