Friday, September 03, 2004
Well, its now 1:30am. and here i am blogging. i have to get up in 4 hours to work. And between now and 7pm i have to do a whole lotta stuff which i hope to have time for including preparing a vocal item for our Congregation's whizzbang concert that I'm co-MCing tonight.
but I need to post this.
************
My Grandad.
MY Grandad is 90 years old. He's dying. Im not sure how long he has, but everyone seems to think its weeks at best, possibly days. Im praying otherwise but I know that its in God's hands.
Who is he? Its a question ive been asking myself lately. Do i know who he is? what he's done? I owe my existence to him from a certain point of view, and yet, i know hardly anything about him. so here is a collection of what i know, its a small kind of tribute to his life, such as i know.
Bernard Alfred Reeves was born in 1914, the year that WW1 started. He was born (to the best of my knowledge) in Gympie, which is in North Queensland. He had a brother, Keith. His dad (my Great-Grandad) was a cattle farmer.
Bernie grew up, and had a good education. He was intelligent, and studied Greek, French, Latin and English. He wanted to be a Geologist. This plan was upset by the Great Depression. All studies and directions he had planned had to be cut short. He returned to the farm, and became a career Dairy farmer, basing out of a farm at Imbil, near Gympie. (this is around the years of 1932-1939)
War broke out in Europe. After having given up his first chosen career to become a farmer to help support himself and his family (having to help with Dad and Brother) he was forced to join the Australian Army and was called up for service. IT was just before he left to join the war that he met Florence. Four days later they got married, and a few days after this, Bernie was sent to Papua New Guinea.
In PNG he served as a Signaller due to his knowledge of languages and other studies, relaying Morse coded messages to the allied forces. He also saw active combat duty against the Japanese, which he never liked to talk about.
After four years of service the war was over and he could go back to his wife. He settled down with her and took over the running of the farm. (Im not sure what happened to Great Grandad.) I have been told that Bernie was always being picked on by his Brother and Father, though im not sure why. (see how much i dont know) In the following 30 years (1945-1970s) Grandad devoted himself to working the farm to support his family, which now included Five sons.in order of age: Ross, Ian, Peter, Kim, and Stewart. (Peter, born in 1955 is my Father). It was hard raising this lot and still working the farm. Grandad was always so busy, so it fell a lot to my Grandmother, Florence to raise them. Florence was a religious woman, Church of England. The boys grew up and went through primary to secondary and all bar one into University. I think all of them ended up at UQ! And they married and started to have families of their own too. Matt, my cousin was born in 1979.
It was after seeing only her first Grandchild that my Grandma passed away from breast cancer. I never knew her and consequently know nothing about her except what i have heard of her from my Dad (which isnt much).
Grandad was alone. his brother and Dad had died a while back. And with all the kids gone to start their own lives it was lonely for him.
Not long after this, he met Iris. A british woman who had also been recently widowed. they got to know eachother and eventually Married. This is the woman i know as my Grandma. They were both around 60-odd and retired to the farm in Imbil where Grandad had spent most of his life.
I remember this farm fondly. I remember the rocky path that led up to it, i remember all the anecdotes my dad told us, about taking the skin off his back in a toboggan accident and trying to hide it from his mum. I remember the way the blowflies zipped around, and how the grass was always so tall and dry. I remember planting vegetables and picking strawberries with my brother and my Grandad. I remember listening to the Kookaburras and the Magpies in the mornign on the balcony, overlooking a postcard Aussie Countryside. I remember the distinct smell of the old lived in house. It was there that i developed a taste for cat biscuits. :) And there that we used to play long games of cards and yahtzee with Grandma and Grandad.
THese days were to end though, in 1993 Grandma (my step Grandma) had finally persuaded Grandad to take her back to England because she missed her homeland. There was a big farewell, one of the only times in my memory that the whole extended family was ever together. Grandad and Grandma went off over to England to live together there. We went and visited their home in 1995 as part of a three month round the world holiday. It was in Newick, East Sussex, close to Grandmas relatives. Grandad was happy for a while, but he too started to miss the country of his birth, but was torn between this and his love for his wife. He stayed there for 6 years, and came back to Australia for the Summer twice in this period, much to the annoyance of Grandma.
in 2000 he and Grandma decided the best thing to do would be for him to go and live in Australia. I cant imagine the situation. It was a 'If you leave you wont be coming back, because you are abandoning me' thing. I always thought though, that Grandma had a way of guilting Grandad into doing things, and he, being soft hearted would always acquiesce. Not this time. Grandad travelled back to Australia (Peter Allen's 'I Still call Australia home' comes to mind).
For the next 3 years Grandad stayed at our home. THe other brothers had him over occasionally, but in one of the biggest displays of apathy i have ever seen, they didnt seem to care about his fate. My dad was the only one of five brothers willing to take Grandad in. So it was that Grandad came to live with us. I remember playing cards at night with him, and having some good convos.
He was getting old, and had already had a stroke when living in England, so he was not as virile as he used to be, but he was still pretty much with it in the head until about halfway through last year, when it was discovered that he had a form of leukemia. Lymphatic cancer, where his white blood cells and immune system were being destroyed.
He was in and out of hostpital in this time, and this put a huge strain on our family. Along with the Leukemia came Dementia. Grandad gradually started to lose his memory and become more egocentric (reverting to childhood). When he was not in hospital he would stay at our house.
I remember these times as not being the best. the JW's tried to talk to him, and i hoped they had some success. (Iris had been a JW herself. Grandad had not been to a church in a long while, although we sometimes took him with us if he was awake. A high point of this time was Grandad's Baptism at our Church.)
Eventually the family couldnt provide the care he needed (we were at work/school/uni) and so he was put in a retirement home about 5 min drive away from out home, where we continued to visit him.
In the last two weeks, the cancer has returned, this time in his upper mouth. the Doctors say that all the effort it would take would only prolong the suffering, so no more treatment is being administered save that of pallative care. Just this week, he could no longer remember Stewart, his youngest son, (who hardly ever visited him anyway). And had difficulty remembering my Dad, who visited every day. I went to see him today, and he was snoozing, he kind of woke up, and i think he acknowledged me, and said thanks for visiting? im not sure he knew who i was, and i think the pain medicine is making him a bit drowsy.
Im just thinking these could be the last days i have with him. Its sad. I want to know so much more about him, but now he wont be able to tell me. I can only pray that God has opened Grandad's heart to him, and that i will see him again. My grandad said to me once: "I have never been happy in my life" this was after dementia had started to set in, so i think this remark is not entirely accurate.
One thing he said before dementia though when i asked him did he believe? he said: "I believe in the Lord Jesus." So there is a comfort.
I often wonder what his other kids think. one of them NEVER paid him a visit in the hospital or the home. How can they do this? I really will never understand my uncles.
Grandad had a hard life. the depression and the war hurting him and his dreams. he did the best he could in really krap circumstances. He provided and raised a family,
and was loyal to Iris and still loved her even in the seperated years.
Thank you God, for the life of Bernard Alfred Reeves.
Thank you Bernie.
Thank you Grandad.
May God be the Lamp for your feet and a light to your path.
SAM
but I need to post this.
************
My Grandad.
MY Grandad is 90 years old. He's dying. Im not sure how long he has, but everyone seems to think its weeks at best, possibly days. Im praying otherwise but I know that its in God's hands.
Who is he? Its a question ive been asking myself lately. Do i know who he is? what he's done? I owe my existence to him from a certain point of view, and yet, i know hardly anything about him. so here is a collection of what i know, its a small kind of tribute to his life, such as i know.
Bernard Alfred Reeves was born in 1914, the year that WW1 started. He was born (to the best of my knowledge) in Gympie, which is in North Queensland. He had a brother, Keith. His dad (my Great-Grandad) was a cattle farmer.
Bernie grew up, and had a good education. He was intelligent, and studied Greek, French, Latin and English. He wanted to be a Geologist. This plan was upset by the Great Depression. All studies and directions he had planned had to be cut short. He returned to the farm, and became a career Dairy farmer, basing out of a farm at Imbil, near Gympie. (this is around the years of 1932-1939)
War broke out in Europe. After having given up his first chosen career to become a farmer to help support himself and his family (having to help with Dad and Brother) he was forced to join the Australian Army and was called up for service. IT was just before he left to join the war that he met Florence. Four days later they got married, and a few days after this, Bernie was sent to Papua New Guinea.
In PNG he served as a Signaller due to his knowledge of languages and other studies, relaying Morse coded messages to the allied forces. He also saw active combat duty against the Japanese, which he never liked to talk about.
After four years of service the war was over and he could go back to his wife. He settled down with her and took over the running of the farm. (Im not sure what happened to Great Grandad.) I have been told that Bernie was always being picked on by his Brother and Father, though im not sure why. (see how much i dont know) In the following 30 years (1945-1970s) Grandad devoted himself to working the farm to support his family, which now included Five sons.in order of age: Ross, Ian, Peter, Kim, and Stewart. (Peter, born in 1955 is my Father). It was hard raising this lot and still working the farm. Grandad was always so busy, so it fell a lot to my Grandmother, Florence to raise them. Florence was a religious woman, Church of England. The boys grew up and went through primary to secondary and all bar one into University. I think all of them ended up at UQ! And they married and started to have families of their own too. Matt, my cousin was born in 1979.
It was after seeing only her first Grandchild that my Grandma passed away from breast cancer. I never knew her and consequently know nothing about her except what i have heard of her from my Dad (which isnt much).
Grandad was alone. his brother and Dad had died a while back. And with all the kids gone to start their own lives it was lonely for him.
Not long after this, he met Iris. A british woman who had also been recently widowed. they got to know eachother and eventually Married. This is the woman i know as my Grandma. They were both around 60-odd and retired to the farm in Imbil where Grandad had spent most of his life.
I remember this farm fondly. I remember the rocky path that led up to it, i remember all the anecdotes my dad told us, about taking the skin off his back in a toboggan accident and trying to hide it from his mum. I remember the way the blowflies zipped around, and how the grass was always so tall and dry. I remember planting vegetables and picking strawberries with my brother and my Grandad. I remember listening to the Kookaburras and the Magpies in the mornign on the balcony, overlooking a postcard Aussie Countryside. I remember the distinct smell of the old lived in house. It was there that i developed a taste for cat biscuits. :) And there that we used to play long games of cards and yahtzee with Grandma and Grandad.
THese days were to end though, in 1993 Grandma (my step Grandma) had finally persuaded Grandad to take her back to England because she missed her homeland. There was a big farewell, one of the only times in my memory that the whole extended family was ever together. Grandad and Grandma went off over to England to live together there. We went and visited their home in 1995 as part of a three month round the world holiday. It was in Newick, East Sussex, close to Grandmas relatives. Grandad was happy for a while, but he too started to miss the country of his birth, but was torn between this and his love for his wife. He stayed there for 6 years, and came back to Australia for the Summer twice in this period, much to the annoyance of Grandma.
in 2000 he and Grandma decided the best thing to do would be for him to go and live in Australia. I cant imagine the situation. It was a 'If you leave you wont be coming back, because you are abandoning me' thing. I always thought though, that Grandma had a way of guilting Grandad into doing things, and he, being soft hearted would always acquiesce. Not this time. Grandad travelled back to Australia (Peter Allen's 'I Still call Australia home' comes to mind).
For the next 3 years Grandad stayed at our home. THe other brothers had him over occasionally, but in one of the biggest displays of apathy i have ever seen, they didnt seem to care about his fate. My dad was the only one of five brothers willing to take Grandad in. So it was that Grandad came to live with us. I remember playing cards at night with him, and having some good convos.
He was getting old, and had already had a stroke when living in England, so he was not as virile as he used to be, but he was still pretty much with it in the head until about halfway through last year, when it was discovered that he had a form of leukemia. Lymphatic cancer, where his white blood cells and immune system were being destroyed.
He was in and out of hostpital in this time, and this put a huge strain on our family. Along with the Leukemia came Dementia. Grandad gradually started to lose his memory and become more egocentric (reverting to childhood). When he was not in hospital he would stay at our house.
I remember these times as not being the best. the JW's tried to talk to him, and i hoped they had some success. (Iris had been a JW herself. Grandad had not been to a church in a long while, although we sometimes took him with us if he was awake. A high point of this time was Grandad's Baptism at our Church.)
Eventually the family couldnt provide the care he needed (we were at work/school/uni) and so he was put in a retirement home about 5 min drive away from out home, where we continued to visit him.
In the last two weeks, the cancer has returned, this time in his upper mouth. the Doctors say that all the effort it would take would only prolong the suffering, so no more treatment is being administered save that of pallative care. Just this week, he could no longer remember Stewart, his youngest son, (who hardly ever visited him anyway). And had difficulty remembering my Dad, who visited every day. I went to see him today, and he was snoozing, he kind of woke up, and i think he acknowledged me, and said thanks for visiting? im not sure he knew who i was, and i think the pain medicine is making him a bit drowsy.
Im just thinking these could be the last days i have with him. Its sad. I want to know so much more about him, but now he wont be able to tell me. I can only pray that God has opened Grandad's heart to him, and that i will see him again. My grandad said to me once: "I have never been happy in my life" this was after dementia had started to set in, so i think this remark is not entirely accurate.
One thing he said before dementia though when i asked him did he believe? he said: "I believe in the Lord Jesus." So there is a comfort.
I often wonder what his other kids think. one of them NEVER paid him a visit in the hospital or the home. How can they do this? I really will never understand my uncles.
Grandad had a hard life. the depression and the war hurting him and his dreams. he did the best he could in really krap circumstances. He provided and raised a family,
and was loyal to Iris and still loved her even in the seperated years.
Thank you God, for the life of Bernard Alfred Reeves.
Thank you Bernie.
Thank you Grandad.
May God be the Lamp for your feet and a light to your path.
SAM
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