Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The 21 year old Virgin
So! I've just seen the 40 year old Virgin and.... hey wait a sec.. HOLY KRAP! My Comments are back! My Enetation comments that hadnt been seen since way back in June!
Its A miracle! I mean look down! I no have two comment sections for every post! Comment away at your leisure people! The Comment fairy has come at last! Now i can stop stealing people's teeth and putting them under my monitor. Or maybe that was the wrong fairy. No wonder it took so long! But what am i going to do with all the leftover tee...
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Anyone want some slightly used ivory jewellary?
Now that you're all suitably disgusted, lets talk about something thats semi-(hehe. Sammy) Serious.
As I started saying before I rudely interrupted, I just saw the 40 year old virgin (the movie, not the guy). I liked it. It had funny moments that made me laugh, and any movie that makes me laugh is a good movie in my book!
But just dealing with some of the subject matter for a moment. The synopsis is this: A 40 year old man has a comfortable life, collecting comics, action figures etc.. in a nice house, not having a car, and working a reasonable job in sales. The thing is he's still a virgin and due to some unfortunate experiences when he was younger he's terrified of the idea of sex. His co-workers (when they find out) then decide to get him laid. Hijinks ensue. and it does have a fairly positive message in the end, but i wont spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it!
Anyhoo. Here I am, the 21 year old virgin. What this movie made me think about is the whole stigma of being a virgin. I mean, as I'm typing this i'm cringing a little. Just admiting that is hard.
Ok, first of all lets get one thing straight here. I am a virgin by choice. Without going into detail, let me just say that there have been quite a few times in my short life so far, that I have had the option of not being a virgin. But each time i chose to remain so. Why? Because of what I believe about the sanctity of sex and that it is the combining of two people on both a physical and a spiritual level. (ok. that makes me sound like some hippy. But most know what i mean. I dont mean you have a spiritual experience when you have sex, but its just the idea that there is an intimacy there that isnt just carnal. :) not that theres anything wrong with the carnal stuff! God made us so we could enjoy Sex!)
Its not as if I can't talk to girls... or that I'm totally disfigured a la the elephant man that girls cant stand to at least say hi to me.
So. Having said that, everything should be right shoudlnt it? then why do i not like to admit that yes, I am a virgin?
Lets give an example here. Ok... Last Sunday I was taking the Lazer class (Sunday School for grade 6-10) in front of about 8 kids. The story we were doing was the parable of the ten virgins. (you know... the five "extra lamp oil is for suckers" virgins and the five brainiacs who kept extra just in case). Anyhoo, we were discussing stuff and one of the girls pipes up and asks am I a virgin.
A simple enough question, and yet I actually paused for a good 3 seconds before I answered. I literally had to build up the courage to say, "Yep. Im a Virgin" In front of a Sunday School class of kids i knew fairly well.
By saying Im a virgin I feel that (and I know this is totally untrue so dont bother telling me that) I'm a failure as a guy. I mean I know what I believe. I know why I do it, but I cant help it. i still have that little sense of 'un' macho ness. Which is krap. in my own words I say that whole sense of failure is krap! but sayin its so dont make it so. It seems that sometimes, maturity is equated with losing the 'naievete' of being a virgin.
I also sometimes wonder what it would be like, if on those occasions I had decided to do it (so to speak :P). What would be different?
The whole stigma of being a virgin has permeated me as well. I cant be the only one though. Guys... my old comments system is up! you can be anonymous! Is there anyone else out there who thinks along these lines too?
ON a slightly related note, having come out of the movie...
I hereby swear that no female shall EVER make me stop collecting stuff like comics, or make me stop playing Computer games. If ever i should do so, it will be on my terms. not because someone else has forced me or coerced me into doing so! so help me God!
PS . I own the comic that the guy was flipping through in the movie heh! :D
SAM
Comments:
My two cents, for what it's worth...
I'd say there's a massive stigma around being a virgin. Just as an example - at my last job everyone knew I was a Christian, and then it came out that I drink (although what *I* consider to be 'drinking' and what my workmates considered to be 'drinking' were two entirely different scales - having a couple of drinks with mates as opposed to regularly getting trashed for the sake of it) - that was a pretty big shock for them. They'd just assumed I didn't, because I'd never bragged about throwing up in my weekends :D
One day I got the same lunchbreak as one of these guys, who I was friends with and was about as 'non-Christian' as you get, seeing as he turned up stoned to work occasionally... anyway, we were talking about the drinking thing, and he was lamenting how I came across as this good Christian but that I drank, and then he said "You're still a virgin though, right?" After an awkward and significant pause I admitted I was, but he picked up on the pause. I was too flustered to explain that that's actually an insanely personal question and .... yeah.
What can I say, it was embarrasing admitting that to a non-Christian guy, who, for his part, I think expected me to be a virgin cos good little Christian girls are and the world doesn't make sense if those rules aren't followed. He actually said he was relieved I *was* still a virgin, for that reason.
I can put my embarrassment down to several things:
1)He was the only semi-decent guy and therefore minutely more attractive than any of the other males at work, and thus, I wanted to appear cool (oh, the irony)
2)I was aware of the social rules of our society, and that being a virgin at my age (21) raises eyebrows like nothing else (sometimes I am still that little 13 year old girl wanting to fit in and be like everyone else)
In our society admitting you're a virgin is like admitting you're unable to do something really basic, like tie your shoelaces. It's seeminlgy the equivalent of waving a flag saying "I'm incapable of having a relationship of any kind with a member of the opposite sex" - sex is almost a form of measurement of how successful you are in relationships. Or just a marker of your being able to have them, whether they be competent, successful etc or not.
It's viewed as, say, being able to drive a car, or hold down a job, or go flatting or any other rite of passage when it comes to growing up: if you haven't done it, there's something wrong with you, and you're somehow incompetent as a human.
There's quite a bit more I could say on this subject, but I won't, since I think my two cents just turned into two dollars :D
I'd say there's a massive stigma around being a virgin. Just as an example - at my last job everyone knew I was a Christian, and then it came out that I drink (although what *I* consider to be 'drinking' and what my workmates considered to be 'drinking' were two entirely different scales - having a couple of drinks with mates as opposed to regularly getting trashed for the sake of it) - that was a pretty big shock for them. They'd just assumed I didn't, because I'd never bragged about throwing up in my weekends :D
One day I got the same lunchbreak as one of these guys, who I was friends with and was about as 'non-Christian' as you get, seeing as he turned up stoned to work occasionally... anyway, we were talking about the drinking thing, and he was lamenting how I came across as this good Christian but that I drank, and then he said "You're still a virgin though, right?" After an awkward and significant pause I admitted I was, but he picked up on the pause. I was too flustered to explain that that's actually an insanely personal question and .... yeah.
What can I say, it was embarrasing admitting that to a non-Christian guy, who, for his part, I think expected me to be a virgin cos good little Christian girls are and the world doesn't make sense if those rules aren't followed. He actually said he was relieved I *was* still a virgin, for that reason.
I can put my embarrassment down to several things:
1)He was the only semi-decent guy and therefore minutely more attractive than any of the other males at work, and thus, I wanted to appear cool (oh, the irony)
2)I was aware of the social rules of our society, and that being a virgin at my age (21) raises eyebrows like nothing else (sometimes I am still that little 13 year old girl wanting to fit in and be like everyone else)
In our society admitting you're a virgin is like admitting you're unable to do something really basic, like tie your shoelaces. It's seeminlgy the equivalent of waving a flag saying "I'm incapable of having a relationship of any kind with a member of the opposite sex" - sex is almost a form of measurement of how successful you are in relationships. Or just a marker of your being able to have them, whether they be competent, successful etc or not.
It's viewed as, say, being able to drive a car, or hold down a job, or go flatting or any other rite of passage when it comes to growing up: if you haven't done it, there's something wrong with you, and you're somehow incompetent as a human.
There's quite a bit more I could say on this subject, but I won't, since I think my two cents just turned into two dollars :D
Hey hey - good to see a post
just on comments: do you want us to use the blogger ones? or the old enetation ones?
If you want people to make anonymous comments, bloggers comments can allow that.
(also, becore you start getting spam, I recommend enabling word verification)
just on comments: do you want us to use the blogger ones? or the old enetation ones?
If you want people to make anonymous comments, bloggers comments can allow that.
(also, becore you start getting spam, I recommend enabling word verification)
Thanks Nato! Yeh, Im not fussed on what people use, but i'll keep both for the meantime, as if i lose enetation again, I'll lose the comments of the first year.
And thanks Christina too. your two dollars or more is welcome any day! Its so true too.
"It's seeminlgy the equivalent of waving a flag saying "I'm incapable of having a relationship of any kind with a member of the opposite sex""
I couldnt have put it better myself! :)
And thanks Christina too. your two dollars or more is welcome any day! Its so true too.
"It's seeminlgy the equivalent of waving a flag saying "I'm incapable of having a relationship of any kind with a member of the opposite sex""
I couldnt have put it better myself! :)
I really appreciate that you wrote that ay! I've heard some of my (Christian) guy mates say that it's really embarassing to be a virgin - but I never understood why! I guess the reasons are different for everyone - but thank you for being honest! I understand more now! It's awesome to see that you have a respect for sex that so many people don't have anymore!! Go hard!! : )
To say I haven't thought similar thoughts would be not true, it's cool to see that guys think them thoughts too!!
Cya! : )
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To say I haven't thought similar thoughts would be not true, it's cool to see that guys think them thoughts too!!
Cya! : )
