Monday, September 27, 2004
"A Pictureless post!...or IS it?"
Ok, since youre all probably tired of seeing world through the eyes of my phone, ill skip the pictures just this once! (although i have some more nice ones!)
And since im supposed to be working on an History assignment, i wont be doing my 'fallen' post today, but possibly Wednesday. Thats looking a bit more likely.
ANyhoo. Just a couple of issues i wanted to blog. Mainly in regards to other people's blogs! ^_^
LACK OF POSTING
There has been a noticeable decrease in the amount of postage-ness recentley! whats the go here. surely everyone has not decided to go out and actually do stuff rather than just blogging it! ;) But glad to see no one has given up just yet! ^_^ Specially Michelle! I mean really! you weren't thinking of cutting out on the 'family' were you? cause once youre in..
COMPLIMENTS
So!Jess has started (continued?) a trend it seems! complimenting others. Mike similarly followed suit. And so, like Mike I would just like to say that to everyone in my blogging audience, You guys R0XX0r!
I think ill expand here too. Im the kind of guy (probably like MOST guys out there) that doesnt really take verbal compliments really well. I tend to shrug them off. And theres always a little part of me that asks, why are they saying that? what do they want? are they mocking me by being sarcastic? who is listening they are trying to show off too? which is really cynical i know.
But i dont mind written stuff! seems more genuine somehow! Jess! Thank you VEry much for the compliments! :D i will attempt to continue to be as random and amusing as possible! ^_^
BLOGGER FEATURE
Ok! who loves the new feature where we can jump to a random blog? there are so many cool blogs out there.. tru enough there are some people out there who REALLY need to redo grammar and spelling, but there are some really interesting ones too!
Try clicking this little thing one day!
THINKING ABOUT PRAYER
Just a quick little one here. I have been pretty slack recentley. I have missed my daily prayer several times now in the last week, due to simply collapsing into bed many times. I mean, sure I can have heaps of little prayers during the day, as im driving, while at uni.. wherever. but that prayer session at night is kinda my wrap up.. my God and Me time. And i just think its surprising that when you stop doing that regularly how easy it is to start doubting, and how easy it is to be tempted, and start thinking stuff you wouldnt normally (being angry at cars on the road, haing impatience with people.. etc etc).
Just gets me wondering how much a repeated activity can have an effect on our Psyche. hmm.. and i wont go down this track because it leads to humanistic thouhgts! :P the darkside! ^_^
THINKING ABOUT HAIR
Well i said i wouldnt have any photos. And i...mus....resist..no i cant! must put in photos! The other night, after the ...unpleasantness that was the Cowboys VS Roosters match
One Hardcore cowboys fan and a recent Convert!
(THe Cowboys deserved to win. They dont buy their players, or the Ref! imagine! ending a game with ten seconds left, when the boys are 5m from the line, instead of forming a scrum and playing the last tackle? Simpkins shall pay!) anyway... after this, Clay and I decided to dye our hair. What. It was logical at the time! :P
So we did! with the aid of COurtney and Sarah, two girls from Wombee, we now have our new hair! Clayton,
The Dying: Sarah With Clay and Courtney with Me!
BEFORE AND AFTER
And Me! :P
So I am now Blonde? (i dunno.. looks a bit more orangey! :P) and Clay is Black! THe last time i changed my hair colour was Schoolies 2001! and that was blonde! hmm.. well, at least now i look like my Drivers Licence and Uni ID photos! :P
Anyhoo.. nothing much meaningful tonight.. im workin on it! really! ^_^ Wednesday! watch out!
Look after yourselves everyone!
SAM
Ok, since youre all probably tired of seeing world through the eyes of my phone, ill skip the pictures just this once! (although i have some more nice ones!)
And since im supposed to be working on an History assignment, i wont be doing my 'fallen' post today, but possibly Wednesday. Thats looking a bit more likely.
ANyhoo. Just a couple of issues i wanted to blog. Mainly in regards to other people's blogs! ^_^
LACK OF POSTING
There has been a noticeable decrease in the amount of postage-ness recentley! whats the go here. surely everyone has not decided to go out and actually do stuff rather than just blogging it! ;) But glad to see no one has given up just yet! ^_^ Specially Michelle! I mean really! you weren't thinking of cutting out on the 'family' were you? cause once youre in..
COMPLIMENTS
So!Jess has started (continued?) a trend it seems! complimenting others. Mike similarly followed suit. And so, like Mike I would just like to say that to everyone in my blogging audience, You guys R0XX0r!
I think ill expand here too. Im the kind of guy (probably like MOST guys out there) that doesnt really take verbal compliments really well. I tend to shrug them off. And theres always a little part of me that asks, why are they saying that? what do they want? are they mocking me by being sarcastic? who is listening they are trying to show off too? which is really cynical i know.
But i dont mind written stuff! seems more genuine somehow! Jess! Thank you VEry much for the compliments! :D i will attempt to continue to be as random and amusing as possible! ^_^
BLOGGER FEATURE
Ok! who loves the new feature where we can jump to a random blog? there are so many cool blogs out there.. tru enough there are some people out there who REALLY need to redo grammar and spelling, but there are some really interesting ones too!
Try clicking this little thing one day!
THINKING ABOUT PRAYER
Just a quick little one here. I have been pretty slack recentley. I have missed my daily prayer several times now in the last week, due to simply collapsing into bed many times. I mean, sure I can have heaps of little prayers during the day, as im driving, while at uni.. wherever. but that prayer session at night is kinda my wrap up.. my God and Me time. And i just think its surprising that when you stop doing that regularly how easy it is to start doubting, and how easy it is to be tempted, and start thinking stuff you wouldnt normally (being angry at cars on the road, haing impatience with people.. etc etc).
Just gets me wondering how much a repeated activity can have an effect on our Psyche. hmm.. and i wont go down this track because it leads to humanistic thouhgts! :P the darkside! ^_^
THINKING ABOUT HAIR
Well i said i wouldnt have any photos. And i...mus....resist..no i cant! must put in photos! The other night, after the ...unpleasantness that was the Cowboys VS Roosters match
One Hardcore cowboys fan and a recent Convert!
(THe Cowboys deserved to win. They dont buy their players, or the Ref! imagine! ending a game with ten seconds left, when the boys are 5m from the line, instead of forming a scrum and playing the last tackle? Simpkins shall pay!) anyway... after this, Clay and I decided to dye our hair. What. It was logical at the time! :P
So we did! with the aid of COurtney and Sarah, two girls from Wombee, we now have our new hair! Clayton,
The Dying: Sarah With Clay and Courtney with Me!
BEFORE AND AFTER
And Me! :P
So I am now Blonde? (i dunno.. looks a bit more orangey! :P) and Clay is Black! THe last time i changed my hair colour was Schoolies 2001! and that was blonde! hmm.. well, at least now i look like my Drivers Licence and Uni ID photos! :P
Anyhoo.. nothing much meaningful tonight.. im workin on it! really! ^_^ Wednesday! watch out!
Look after yourselves everyone!
SAM
(0) comments
Thursday, September 23, 2004
"Beware mortals!"
Yellow everyone! just a quickie as im dead tired tonight! :P And i havent forgotten my promise of doing some meaningful posts soon! (especially the 'fallenness one, which ive got some GREAT ideas for!) but today im just gonna skim some quick stuff and some more photos! :D
This Week Im home alone. My Parents and Bro have gone to visit my Mummu and Varri (Grandma and Grandad) up in Bingil Bay North Queensland. Took them to the airport on Monday. Im loving living on my own. there is no pressure to do anything at any certain time, and i dont have to talk to anyone for extended periods of time! :D gee, that sounded really anti social didnt it! :P
BUT ive still got my lovely Labrador Retriever CHEWIE! (Short for Chewbacca!) to keep me company!
Isnt she cute!
Oh and the other thing! which reflects the title of this post! BEWARE MORTALS for this Arts student now has a basic grounding in PHYSICS! THATS right! PHYSICS! I can tell you all about the four forces - weak, strong, gravity and EM, i can tell you about what Quantum is and what QUantum leaps are and how the uncertainty principle affects Quantum mechanics and Chaos Theory!
I spent about an hour and a half in the Physics Tea Room this afternoon, being taught by my mates, Matt and Chris! here they are! fools! giving me the knowledge i need to conquer the universe and ALL OF TIME! BWAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!
And also relating to the Tea Room, i have discovered something. that no sane person should study physics. here is my evidence:
It all starts out harmless enough... but before too long
DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! DONT DO PHYSICS!
SAM OUT!
Yellow everyone! just a quickie as im dead tired tonight! :P And i havent forgotten my promise of doing some meaningful posts soon! (especially the 'fallenness one, which ive got some GREAT ideas for!) but today im just gonna skim some quick stuff and some more photos! :D
This Week Im home alone. My Parents and Bro have gone to visit my Mummu and Varri (Grandma and Grandad) up in Bingil Bay North Queensland. Took them to the airport on Monday. Im loving living on my own. there is no pressure to do anything at any certain time, and i dont have to talk to anyone for extended periods of time! :D gee, that sounded really anti social didnt it! :P
BUT ive still got my lovely Labrador Retriever CHEWIE! (Short for Chewbacca!) to keep me company!
Isnt she cute!
Oh and the other thing! which reflects the title of this post! BEWARE MORTALS for this Arts student now has a basic grounding in PHYSICS! THATS right! PHYSICS! I can tell you all about the four forces - weak, strong, gravity and EM, i can tell you about what Quantum is and what QUantum leaps are and how the uncertainty principle affects Quantum mechanics and Chaos Theory!
I spent about an hour and a half in the Physics Tea Room this afternoon, being taught by my mates, Matt and Chris! here they are! fools! giving me the knowledge i need to conquer the universe and ALL OF TIME! BWAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!
And also relating to the Tea Room, i have discovered something. that no sane person should study physics. here is my evidence:
It all starts out harmless enough... but before too long
DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU! DONT DO PHYSICS!
SAM OUT!
(0) comments
Monday, September 20, 2004
ARGH! SUPID FAT HOBBITSES! I had a massive post here and Blogger ate it. urge to kill...rising! Ok, so first ill RETYPE THE WHOLE THING! ooh.. the rage....
So! what i was going to post before!: I have been incredibly busy the last few days, and woah! its six days since my last post! unfortunately of late i have been so busy that i find myself actually sleeping when i should be blogging and procrastinating! Unfortunately this leaves me a lot of info to post about and only one post to do it in! so, for the benefit of those who hate long posts i will now give you time to surf to another site! go on! ..... ok. thats long enough! and now for those of you who stayed, grab a drink, some popcorn and/or chocolate, and a pillow and prepare to experience: FIVE DAYS IN THE LIFE OF SOME AUSSIE MANIAC (now with Subheadings for your reading pleasure!)
PHONE
Sadly, after many years of faithful service, my old Nokia 3310 - replete in it's funky Star Wars case bought in Sydney - has been put out to pasture. In its place, is: A BRAND NEW CA..er PHONE! A beeeeyuuuutiful Nokia 6230. It is sooo cool. It can take photos, it can take sounds, (i can record my own ring and message tones!) it can make movies WITH sound. It has some R0XX0r games on it, and has all the usual bells and whistles, including reminders/alarms etc and a full wall calendar! It also allows me to keep THOUSANDS of SMS. Atm i am up to 51. thats not including all the messages Ive sent, which it automatically saves! Oh, and you can also use it to call people! ^_^
But, i had to sell my soul to Nokia to get it! :P 24 month contract. 45 dollars a month, and this includes call charges. so if i dont use the 45 dollars, it gets rolled over to the next month! :D
Oh and, today i went out and purchased the USB enhancement! thus, all of the movies, pictures and everything can now (and are) be transferred to my computer, and from computer to here! :D While they arent as good quality as a digital camera, they are still pretty darn good! So! Welcome to the updated version of Philotas Procrastinates! Now With Purty Pictures! ;)
INSPIRATION
A few posts back i mentioned how i was losing my passion for music, well, things have now changed! On Thursday last week, I was invited to go to the Opera, Mozart's "Magic Flute" along with my Brother's Music class. So i went and watched. Now, the opera might have no plot whatsoever, and the music isnt anything to write home about, but all the while i sat there remembering how much i had loved being a member of an orchestra. Being part of making music. And how in grade 12 I was a lead role in the School musical, and how i enjoyed singing in that and all the choirs i had been in. I also realised that I had not been involved in a Choir or Orchestra for almost 2 years, and I missed it.
Another realisation was with my listening habits. All the music I had been listening to recentley had been all modern stuff. Like Rock, Ska, Punk, Techno, Pop, Weird Al, Tom Lehrer etc... So I changed the channel, and.. Oh mate.
I love Art Music. It is absolutely incredible. Not like the 2 or 3 minute soundbites that are proliferate today. Now Im not saying that this music is bad, or that its' creators aren't talented. But When compared with art music...
In Art music there is no need for lyrics. The music emulates feelings and primal desires within us all. The twist and flow of the music and the different instruments used each evoke different moods. The rising then plummeting melody lines, the beautiful harmonies.. and most importantly, the mounting tension then joyous release of the resolutions. Is.. undescribable.
As a Music scholar as well, i can choose to appreciate it passively, just sitting back and enjoying the sounds, or i can take an active role and work out the chord and key progressions, the stylistic features, i can predict where it can go. And try to guess a possible composer. Art Music has the power to transport me like no other music can.
I AM A MUSO. I have been since grade 1. i will NOT give this up. Everyone needs to experience the joys of art music in their lives.
WEDDING
There were two main events that happened on the Weekend! The First was a joyous occasion! A Wedding of two of my friends, Janice and Jono! :D Janice is yet another sister of my best friend (he has 4), and Jono ive known for a while now through church and other stuff! He is the lead singer for the Ska/punk Christian band "Half Way Out", and is also a Man. Arts TEacher at Trinity Lutheran! he is involved in a heap of other stuff to. very nice bloke. His Dad is a Pastor, and so is his Brother, who actually officiated at the wedding ceremony! ^_^ And, here, direct from my camera are some pictures of the ceremony and the reception!
Pre-Wedding. The Groom and his men are waiting at the front of the Chapel. See the Cross Mike! ^_^
The Reception Place, sans people sitting down!
The Wedding Cake, made by the Groom's Mum! mmm..icing...
A Close up of the set tables! very nice touch with the boxes of Chocolate there!
Rawr! The Brides Fair Maidens! Kerryn, Nicole and Christie, all sisters!
And Last but not least, the happy couple! situated on the 'King and Queen of Hearts' chairs that The Groom made for a musical!
SUPANOVA
The Second big event of the Weekend was SUPANOVA! now im not sure if ive written any of this before, but SUPANOVA is a 'pop culture expo' that is in its' second year in Brisbane. So, every year, around this time all the geeks, fanboys/girls and Other Otaku come out of their holes and from under various rocks (;)) and converge here! At the RNA showgrounds on September 18th and 19th! It has Manga, it has Comics, it has Scifi. It has Dance Dance Revolution competitions, there are cards, and there are computer game stalls. There are also numerous special guests! including Sean Astin (Samwise) John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) and John Noble (Denethor, Mad Steward of Gondor) from LOTR! as well as several voice actors, and other Sci-fi/fantasy actors. There are also comic book writers/artists!
the best part? I GOT PAID TO GO HERE!
But let me tell you, there are some VERY scary people in there! VERY VERY freaky. I mean, here i was thinking i was a huge geek, but compared to some of those guys and girls.... *violent shudder*
I got to meet Both Stuart Immonen (Cool artist of a lot of excellent comics and a fellow (Canadian) 1/2 Finn!) and David Finch! (Also a cool artist of some very cool comics, including AVENGERS). David Finch gave me an autograph on my copy of Avengers 500 directors cut and also drew me a signed portrait of THOR! :D how very very cool! I was so stoked i couldnt stop smiling for at least 10 minutes!
Anyway! Here is some pictures from this very very cool Convention!
Tony, Manager of the Daily Planet posing for me at our Stand at SUPANOVA
The Guy in the Orange shirt is Stuart Immonen, very busily signing and drawing for his admirers at our stand!
and this is another angle of our stand, obscured by Laura's Butt! ;) lol. she'd kill me if she ever saw this photo!
And thats the marathon over for today kiddies!
I could type more but since ive already typed this out twice, i think ill let it go! and ill let you go too! remember to Visit back soon!
This is SAM!
PEACE OUT!
So! what i was going to post before!: I have been incredibly busy the last few days, and woah! its six days since my last post! unfortunately of late i have been so busy that i find myself actually sleeping when i should be blogging and procrastinating! Unfortunately this leaves me a lot of info to post about and only one post to do it in! so, for the benefit of those who hate long posts i will now give you time to surf to another site! go on! ..... ok. thats long enough! and now for those of you who stayed, grab a drink, some popcorn and/or chocolate, and a pillow and prepare to experience: FIVE DAYS IN THE LIFE OF SOME AUSSIE MANIAC (now with Subheadings for your reading pleasure!)
PHONE
Sadly, after many years of faithful service, my old Nokia 3310 - replete in it's funky Star Wars case bought in Sydney - has been put out to pasture. In its place, is: A BRAND NEW CA..er PHONE! A beeeeyuuuutiful Nokia 6230. It is sooo cool. It can take photos, it can take sounds, (i can record my own ring and message tones!) it can make movies WITH sound. It has some R0XX0r games on it, and has all the usual bells and whistles, including reminders/alarms etc and a full wall calendar! It also allows me to keep THOUSANDS of SMS. Atm i am up to 51. thats not including all the messages Ive sent, which it automatically saves! Oh, and you can also use it to call people! ^_^
But, i had to sell my soul to Nokia to get it! :P 24 month contract. 45 dollars a month, and this includes call charges. so if i dont use the 45 dollars, it gets rolled over to the next month! :D
Oh and, today i went out and purchased the USB enhancement! thus, all of the movies, pictures and everything can now (and are) be transferred to my computer, and from computer to here! :D While they arent as good quality as a digital camera, they are still pretty darn good! So! Welcome to the updated version of Philotas Procrastinates! Now With Purty Pictures! ;)
INSPIRATION
A few posts back i mentioned how i was losing my passion for music, well, things have now changed! On Thursday last week, I was invited to go to the Opera, Mozart's "Magic Flute" along with my Brother's Music class. So i went and watched. Now, the opera might have no plot whatsoever, and the music isnt anything to write home about, but all the while i sat there remembering how much i had loved being a member of an orchestra. Being part of making music. And how in grade 12 I was a lead role in the School musical, and how i enjoyed singing in that and all the choirs i had been in. I also realised that I had not been involved in a Choir or Orchestra for almost 2 years, and I missed it.
Another realisation was with my listening habits. All the music I had been listening to recentley had been all modern stuff. Like Rock, Ska, Punk, Techno, Pop, Weird Al, Tom Lehrer etc... So I changed the channel, and.. Oh mate.
I love Art Music. It is absolutely incredible. Not like the 2 or 3 minute soundbites that are proliferate today. Now Im not saying that this music is bad, or that its' creators aren't talented. But When compared with art music...
In Art music there is no need for lyrics. The music emulates feelings and primal desires within us all. The twist and flow of the music and the different instruments used each evoke different moods. The rising then plummeting melody lines, the beautiful harmonies.. and most importantly, the mounting tension then joyous release of the resolutions. Is.. undescribable.
As a Music scholar as well, i can choose to appreciate it passively, just sitting back and enjoying the sounds, or i can take an active role and work out the chord and key progressions, the stylistic features, i can predict where it can go. And try to guess a possible composer. Art Music has the power to transport me like no other music can.
I AM A MUSO. I have been since grade 1. i will NOT give this up. Everyone needs to experience the joys of art music in their lives.
WEDDING
There were two main events that happened on the Weekend! The First was a joyous occasion! A Wedding of two of my friends, Janice and Jono! :D Janice is yet another sister of my best friend (he has 4), and Jono ive known for a while now through church and other stuff! He is the lead singer for the Ska/punk Christian band "Half Way Out", and is also a Man. Arts TEacher at Trinity Lutheran! he is involved in a heap of other stuff to. very nice bloke. His Dad is a Pastor, and so is his Brother, who actually officiated at the wedding ceremony! ^_^ And, here, direct from my camera are some pictures of the ceremony and the reception!
Pre-Wedding. The Groom and his men are waiting at the front of the Chapel. See the Cross Mike! ^_^
The Reception Place, sans people sitting down!
The Wedding Cake, made by the Groom's Mum! mmm..icing...
A Close up of the set tables! very nice touch with the boxes of Chocolate there!
Rawr! The Brides Fair Maidens! Kerryn, Nicole and Christie, all sisters!
And Last but not least, the happy couple! situated on the 'King and Queen of Hearts' chairs that The Groom made for a musical!
SUPANOVA
The Second big event of the Weekend was SUPANOVA! now im not sure if ive written any of this before, but SUPANOVA is a 'pop culture expo' that is in its' second year in Brisbane. So, every year, around this time all the geeks, fanboys/girls and Other Otaku come out of their holes and from under various rocks (;)) and converge here! At the RNA showgrounds on September 18th and 19th! It has Manga, it has Comics, it has Scifi. It has Dance Dance Revolution competitions, there are cards, and there are computer game stalls. There are also numerous special guests! including Sean Astin (Samwise) John Rhys-Davies (Gimli) and John Noble (Denethor, Mad Steward of Gondor) from LOTR! as well as several voice actors, and other Sci-fi/fantasy actors. There are also comic book writers/artists!
the best part? I GOT PAID TO GO HERE!
But let me tell you, there are some VERY scary people in there! VERY VERY freaky. I mean, here i was thinking i was a huge geek, but compared to some of those guys and girls.... *violent shudder*
I got to meet Both Stuart Immonen (Cool artist of a lot of excellent comics and a fellow (Canadian) 1/2 Finn!) and David Finch! (Also a cool artist of some very cool comics, including AVENGERS). David Finch gave me an autograph on my copy of Avengers 500 directors cut and also drew me a signed portrait of THOR! :D how very very cool! I was so stoked i couldnt stop smiling for at least 10 minutes!
Anyway! Here is some pictures from this very very cool Convention!
Tony, Manager of the Daily Planet posing for me at our Stand at SUPANOVA
The Guy in the Orange shirt is Stuart Immonen, very busily signing and drawing for his admirers at our stand!
and this is another angle of our stand, obscured by Laura's Butt! ;) lol. she'd kill me if she ever saw this photo!
And thats the marathon over for today kiddies!
I could type more but since ive already typed this out twice, i think ill let it go! and ill let you go too! remember to Visit back soon!
This is SAM!
PEACE OUT!
(0) comments
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Funeral
Today was the Funeral. We started in Church at 9am. then when the service finished and the morning tea was over we went to Gympie, where the Reeves family plot was. Grandad was interred there next to Grandma. There were quite a few of his friends/neighbors and family there to see him off. I played 'Amazing Grace' at the Gravesite on the viola so the rest could sing.
Im quite braindead at the moment. Had smallgroup tonight, and before i could go in I just had to take a walk around the block several times. ended up walking for over an hour before i went in. Walking around in nice black suit and pants and shoes. must have looked odd.
Man the style of writing im using here is very poor. I apologise! really I do. But at the moment theres a lot on my mind. Its not just the funeral, or Grandad's passing, but i think it is a lot of issues that have been bought to a cusp by this. or enhanced in some way by this.
I am of two minds whether to post this stuff or not. I realise my Blog entries of late have been utterly horrible and depression inducing. If the ads were back theyd slaughter me! :P I really dont want to have to put anyone through reading this. Also I am worried, again about my image. I worry that what I say through here may change people's opinions of who i am, based on what ive done. this is unavoidable. but is it better to post here, or keep it inside. I dont want to have secrets. Secrets can eat you up. I also think though, that this is what I started my blog for. moments like these when I have to release somewhere. Because things are getting too confusing for me to process on my own. So I will do this.
I always try to be the happy person of my group. Of my Uni Friends Im the Joker of the crowd. Slightly different with church friends because of my past history with them, the person i was through high school (when i first knew them) is different to the person i am now. Ive changed my personality paradigm totally. (or attempted to) from Introvert to Extravert. I choose to be the happy one because i think people around me need this. Humour is one of the best forms of medicine. everyone knows this. So i try to exude it. Become the monkey. Be the one who always has a one liner or a comeback. the weirdo. the bizarre random. I do this to cheer others up.
Just recentley though, im not sure why. maybe it is the stress of Uni. Maybe it is Grandad. Maybe it is Smallgroup thing from a while back. Maybe its the lack of sleep due to overcommitment. Maybe its a combination of the lot. But just recentley i have been reverting back to introvert status. What i mean by this is my energy levels are low all the time, its a real effort to maintain the usual standard of craziness. I cant hold an accent for long now. :P Reacting to social situations becomes harder and harder. More and more i like spending time on my own, just not doing much at all. trying to rest i guess.
I can also feel my patience at an alltime low. The other night during Poker my Mate Clay was paying me out about something. Now usually my tolerance level for this is incredible. Like water off a ducks back literally. I can take anyone paying me out at all under nearly any circumstance, because I love them. I realise there is always more going on than meets the eye. there is always a reason behind the narcy ness, that requries attention, rather than just getting angry.
(on a side note i oftne think its scary how easily i can read into people's actions. maybe this is a gift i have, or the result of thousands of useless psych education info bites. But either way i can really understand a persons actions quite easily, and what may be motivating them. its scary.)
Last night...I wasnt tolerant and i started sniping back. Usually, even though i can have perfect responses to most pay outs, i dont. i hold back. because we have to love one another. Last night i didnt. so i was responding to insults in kind. That was terrible of me. i feel so ashamed.
Lord Forgive me.
There was also another thing that happened that im not quite ready to blog about yet.
On a completely different angle though, I took a first step towards bringing my Blog into the real world, and thus revealing myself. I gave Nicole from my Smallgroup a piece of paper with the address of this Blog on.
She is a very trusted friend. She is my mentor in a whole lot of things. Its scary, but i feel she is the best one to show this to first. Hey Nic! :)
I Promise that I will post on something much better than this stuff tomorrow! i DO have some good news in amongst all this! :)
SAM
Today was the Funeral. We started in Church at 9am. then when the service finished and the morning tea was over we went to Gympie, where the Reeves family plot was. Grandad was interred there next to Grandma. There were quite a few of his friends/neighbors and family there to see him off. I played 'Amazing Grace' at the Gravesite on the viola so the rest could sing.
Im quite braindead at the moment. Had smallgroup tonight, and before i could go in I just had to take a walk around the block several times. ended up walking for over an hour before i went in. Walking around in nice black suit and pants and shoes. must have looked odd.
Man the style of writing im using here is very poor. I apologise! really I do. But at the moment theres a lot on my mind. Its not just the funeral, or Grandad's passing, but i think it is a lot of issues that have been bought to a cusp by this. or enhanced in some way by this.
I am of two minds whether to post this stuff or not. I realise my Blog entries of late have been utterly horrible and depression inducing. If the ads were back theyd slaughter me! :P I really dont want to have to put anyone through reading this. Also I am worried, again about my image. I worry that what I say through here may change people's opinions of who i am, based on what ive done. this is unavoidable. but is it better to post here, or keep it inside. I dont want to have secrets. Secrets can eat you up. I also think though, that this is what I started my blog for. moments like these when I have to release somewhere. Because things are getting too confusing for me to process on my own. So I will do this.
I always try to be the happy person of my group. Of my Uni Friends Im the Joker of the crowd. Slightly different with church friends because of my past history with them, the person i was through high school (when i first knew them) is different to the person i am now. Ive changed my personality paradigm totally. (or attempted to) from Introvert to Extravert. I choose to be the happy one because i think people around me need this. Humour is one of the best forms of medicine. everyone knows this. So i try to exude it. Become the monkey. Be the one who always has a one liner or a comeback. the weirdo. the bizarre random. I do this to cheer others up.
Just recentley though, im not sure why. maybe it is the stress of Uni. Maybe it is Grandad. Maybe it is Smallgroup thing from a while back. Maybe its the lack of sleep due to overcommitment. Maybe its a combination of the lot. But just recentley i have been reverting back to introvert status. What i mean by this is my energy levels are low all the time, its a real effort to maintain the usual standard of craziness. I cant hold an accent for long now. :P Reacting to social situations becomes harder and harder. More and more i like spending time on my own, just not doing much at all. trying to rest i guess.
I can also feel my patience at an alltime low. The other night during Poker my Mate Clay was paying me out about something. Now usually my tolerance level for this is incredible. Like water off a ducks back literally. I can take anyone paying me out at all under nearly any circumstance, because I love them. I realise there is always more going on than meets the eye. there is always a reason behind the narcy ness, that requries attention, rather than just getting angry.
(on a side note i oftne think its scary how easily i can read into people's actions. maybe this is a gift i have, or the result of thousands of useless psych education info bites. But either way i can really understand a persons actions quite easily, and what may be motivating them. its scary.)
Last night...I wasnt tolerant and i started sniping back. Usually, even though i can have perfect responses to most pay outs, i dont. i hold back. because we have to love one another. Last night i didnt. so i was responding to insults in kind. That was terrible of me. i feel so ashamed.
Lord Forgive me.
There was also another thing that happened that im not quite ready to blog about yet.
On a completely different angle though, I took a first step towards bringing my Blog into the real world, and thus revealing myself. I gave Nicole from my Smallgroup a piece of paper with the address of this Blog on.
She is a very trusted friend. She is my mentor in a whole lot of things. Its scary, but i feel she is the best one to show this to first. Hey Nic! :)
I Promise that I will post on something much better than this stuff tomorrow! i DO have some good news in amongst all this! :)
SAM
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
Weird Party!
Back to Blogging again! Yesterday/Today has been interesting. As part of my terribly junked up social calander, i had a friend's 20th Party last night over at her friend's place in Taringa. (thats Near Uni for all you Kiwis! though LIZ ;) knows what im talking about! :D)
The Birthday Girl was Kristen (I posted about this chick a while back i think. she was the one who was going to see Harry Potter with me.).I know her from History and Education etc etc. The party was themed: "Fantasy and Mysticism". So I had the idea to go as a wizard! So i dressed in Performance Blacks (for all you non musos out there: black pants, and long sleeved black shirt that hangs over pants) and a dark Blue Bathrobe over that, and as an homage to Terry Pratchett, I taped the word: "WIZZARD" on the back! with stars and an arrow pointing up to my head! Even borrowed a witches hat from my Piano teacher. dont ask. :P
After having prepared, and bought present (a small lavalamp!) I went on over. At the party there were intially about 3 people i knew. (Kristen, and two other Educ people). and some other randoms who i thought were her friends. But i was mistaken! well, they were her friends, but they were mainly there because of their connections with the owner of the flat, Michelle (lol no relation).
So the first weird thing was Evan (a guy i know from EDUC) he was posing as 'Mephisto: Lord of Hatred' (Diablo theme there! ;D) and he had been conned into having his face painted. So. Imagine this. A pretty blokey guy there with plastic horns on his head, and with red paint all around his eyes, very much looking like mascara. very VERY disturbing! :D
But moving right along! The first OFFICIAL weird thing that happened was that the Birthday Girl left first. thats right. There was some issues here with her mum turning up. She and her mum have this....unorthodox relationship. At the moment she, her sister and mother are all living seperately. long story. anyway: Her mum apparently likes being the center of attention. and this upsets Kristen. understandibly. so she ended up going home early. and the party turned into Michelle's house party (apparently it had been inteded as this all along but just merged the birthday into it.)
So. in short order, i then knew two people there. then one left. so i knew one person there! its all good! Then some more random guys and girls turned up. Well.. random to me anyway! ^_^
Course then, the other person that i knew left! hmm.
So i was in a situation in which i knew absolutely no one at the party prior to that night! But the good thing here is that I had already struck up some convos with some of the guys and girls. (lol.. somehow ended up at 1am talking with these guys about Stephen Hawking and Black Holes and Physics!)
So, now that the scene is set, theres a couple of other weird things that happened that night. First one was Michelle showing me how, through 'Reiki' she could control her body temperature. I think this is an Eastern meditative thing to do with the energies in the body. Tis very weird and cool, yet is also slightly disturbing, thought i cant quite put my finger on it. After she demonstrated this, she put her hands on my leg and did it to me. First she made my Ears hot, then back, then feet, then all over tingly. And she would be directing the energy to a certain part of the body. like, she would tell me where she was directing it at the time. Weird stuff.
Second weird thing that happened there. i found this out later, after it had happened. One of the ladies (and i say lady because she is about 36. Shes a teacher :P) Was 'REading' people. one of the guys i was talking to most of the night had talked to her earlier and she had told him stuff about himself that he hadnt told her yet. like, he worked at Mitre 10. or that he was doing this course and was aiming for this in life. Apparently she has done this before at a New Years Eve Party. (with teary results for some participants). So the story goes is that she can see and hear the 'spirit guardians' we all have around us, the ones who guide us.
Ok. now that was weird. I mean. spirit guardians. what do we assume about these sorts of things?
She hears them, but doesnt 'call' on them. What do you all think about this? is this evil? is this not good or evil? What do you think of the idea of spirit guardians? i think Guardian angels is likely! but im not sure.
there was some other weird stuff from this party but ive dragged on too long already and im not sure i should print the rest anyway! ;)
SAM
Back to Blogging again! Yesterday/Today has been interesting. As part of my terribly junked up social calander, i had a friend's 20th Party last night over at her friend's place in Taringa. (thats Near Uni for all you Kiwis! though LIZ ;) knows what im talking about! :D)
The Birthday Girl was Kristen (I posted about this chick a while back i think. she was the one who was going to see Harry Potter with me.).I know her from History and Education etc etc. The party was themed: "Fantasy and Mysticism". So I had the idea to go as a wizard! So i dressed in Performance Blacks (for all you non musos out there: black pants, and long sleeved black shirt that hangs over pants) and a dark Blue Bathrobe over that, and as an homage to Terry Pratchett, I taped the word: "WIZZARD" on the back! with stars and an arrow pointing up to my head! Even borrowed a witches hat from my Piano teacher. dont ask. :P
After having prepared, and bought present (a small lavalamp!) I went on over. At the party there were intially about 3 people i knew. (Kristen, and two other Educ people). and some other randoms who i thought were her friends. But i was mistaken! well, they were her friends, but they were mainly there because of their connections with the owner of the flat, Michelle (lol no relation).
So the first weird thing was Evan (a guy i know from EDUC) he was posing as 'Mephisto: Lord of Hatred' (Diablo theme there! ;D) and he had been conned into having his face painted. So. Imagine this. A pretty blokey guy there with plastic horns on his head, and with red paint all around his eyes, very much looking like mascara. very VERY disturbing! :D
But moving right along! The first OFFICIAL weird thing that happened was that the Birthday Girl left first. thats right. There was some issues here with her mum turning up. She and her mum have this....unorthodox relationship. At the moment she, her sister and mother are all living seperately. long story. anyway: Her mum apparently likes being the center of attention. and this upsets Kristen. understandibly. so she ended up going home early. and the party turned into Michelle's house party (apparently it had been inteded as this all along but just merged the birthday into it.)
So. in short order, i then knew two people there. then one left. so i knew one person there! its all good! Then some more random guys and girls turned up. Well.. random to me anyway! ^_^
Course then, the other person that i knew left! hmm.
So i was in a situation in which i knew absolutely no one at the party prior to that night! But the good thing here is that I had already struck up some convos with some of the guys and girls. (lol.. somehow ended up at 1am talking with these guys about Stephen Hawking and Black Holes and Physics!)
So, now that the scene is set, theres a couple of other weird things that happened that night. First one was Michelle showing me how, through 'Reiki' she could control her body temperature. I think this is an Eastern meditative thing to do with the energies in the body. Tis very weird and cool, yet is also slightly disturbing, thought i cant quite put my finger on it. After she demonstrated this, she put her hands on my leg and did it to me. First she made my Ears hot, then back, then feet, then all over tingly. And she would be directing the energy to a certain part of the body. like, she would tell me where she was directing it at the time. Weird stuff.
Second weird thing that happened there. i found this out later, after it had happened. One of the ladies (and i say lady because she is about 36. Shes a teacher :P) Was 'REading' people. one of the guys i was talking to most of the night had talked to her earlier and she had told him stuff about himself that he hadnt told her yet. like, he worked at Mitre 10. or that he was doing this course and was aiming for this in life. Apparently she has done this before at a New Years Eve Party. (with teary results for some participants). So the story goes is that she can see and hear the 'spirit guardians' we all have around us, the ones who guide us.
Ok. now that was weird. I mean. spirit guardians. what do we assume about these sorts of things?
She hears them, but doesnt 'call' on them. What do you all think about this? is this evil? is this not good or evil? What do you think of the idea of spirit guardians? i think Guardian angels is likely! but im not sure.
there was some other weird stuff from this party but ive dragged on too long already and im not sure i should print the rest anyway! ;)
SAM
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
Grandad died today.
He died at around 1:20pm at the nursing home. Three of his sons were there. One was attempting to drive up from Sydney with 3 hours to drive still. One was in Toowoomba, likewise trying to make it down. another of my cousins was there too along with the wives of the three brothers.
I got a phone call as i was driving a mate home from uni, that they didnt think Grandad would last the hour. My Brother was at school in an exam. and it was decided that he probably shouldnt come for this, because he had a difficult enough time seeing Grandad on the weekend.
This is the first time ive had somebody close to me die. I was in the room as he breathed his last. I watched the pulse in his neck when it stopped. The cancer in his throat had spread down and was making breathing difficult. He fought for every breath. Kind of like Grandad. a fighter.
He couldnt speak, and i think he may have been vaguely aware of us in the room.
As everyone said their goodbyes it was touching to see one of my uncles say he loved Grandad. Even through all the family strife we've had he still loves his dad.
I feel sad. I feel a certain mortality. the most usual reactions to a death. There are no longer 4 generations of Reeves' on this earth. Death comes for us all in the end.
As a Christian I have hope of a better life after death, and I feel happy for Grandad in that regard. for the last few months he has been a prisoner in his own body. Hopefully now, in death, the prisoner will be released. I dont know where he is now, but i hope and pray that while he still thought clearly that he chose the right path to take. And I pray that God will guide him home.
Death is the end of Mortality.
I wonder what sort of thoughts enter your head in those last few hours. Do you wish you had completed some of your goals and dreams? do you lament those moments when you have screwed up? What sort of fear could grip you? Up until the actual moment when you are unable to breath anymore...what are your last thoughts?
I thank God that Grandad didnt suffer long through this stage. I thank him once again that I could know Grandad. His next door neighbor and friend at the nursing home, flora, said: "Youve lost a good Grandfather. He was a good man." and by all reports he had endeared himself to the staff and his neighbors alike.
I know a good man has died today, but i know we will meet again
Au Revoir Bernie.
Rest In Peace
Bernard ALfred Reeves.
Gone to God Thursday 9th of September 2004
Later:
I cant stop thinking about it. its tearing me up. I just keep remembering seeing his pulse go. I remember watching. hoping he would take another breath. people were talking around him. but I kept watching. maybe 30 seconds later i remember my dad saying: "I think he's gone."
I cant forget the image of my Uncle. he is the ultimate Bloke. He is an engineer. he loves his beer, BBQs, normally a very loud guy.. He was crying as he leaned close and whispered. "Goodbye Dad, I love you."
I think ive passed through denial. It sucks. I can see the brighter side. but doesnt stop the pain.
I took a break at work this arvo and walked outside to watch the sunset. It had been clouded and rainy all day, but in the afternoon. the most gorgeous sunset ive seen in ages.
He died at around 1:20pm at the nursing home. Three of his sons were there. One was attempting to drive up from Sydney with 3 hours to drive still. One was in Toowoomba, likewise trying to make it down. another of my cousins was there too along with the wives of the three brothers.
I got a phone call as i was driving a mate home from uni, that they didnt think Grandad would last the hour. My Brother was at school in an exam. and it was decided that he probably shouldnt come for this, because he had a difficult enough time seeing Grandad on the weekend.
This is the first time ive had somebody close to me die. I was in the room as he breathed his last. I watched the pulse in his neck when it stopped. The cancer in his throat had spread down and was making breathing difficult. He fought for every breath. Kind of like Grandad. a fighter.
He couldnt speak, and i think he may have been vaguely aware of us in the room.
As everyone said their goodbyes it was touching to see one of my uncles say he loved Grandad. Even through all the family strife we've had he still loves his dad.
I feel sad. I feel a certain mortality. the most usual reactions to a death. There are no longer 4 generations of Reeves' on this earth. Death comes for us all in the end.
As a Christian I have hope of a better life after death, and I feel happy for Grandad in that regard. for the last few months he has been a prisoner in his own body. Hopefully now, in death, the prisoner will be released. I dont know where he is now, but i hope and pray that while he still thought clearly that he chose the right path to take. And I pray that God will guide him home.
Death is the end of Mortality.
I wonder what sort of thoughts enter your head in those last few hours. Do you wish you had completed some of your goals and dreams? do you lament those moments when you have screwed up? What sort of fear could grip you? Up until the actual moment when you are unable to breath anymore...what are your last thoughts?
I thank God that Grandad didnt suffer long through this stage. I thank him once again that I could know Grandad. His next door neighbor and friend at the nursing home, flora, said: "Youve lost a good Grandfather. He was a good man." and by all reports he had endeared himself to the staff and his neighbors alike.
I know a good man has died today, but i know we will meet again
Au Revoir Bernie.
Rest In Peace
Bernard ALfred Reeves.
Gone to God Thursday 9th of September 2004
Later:
I cant stop thinking about it. its tearing me up. I just keep remembering seeing his pulse go. I remember watching. hoping he would take another breath. people were talking around him. but I kept watching. maybe 30 seconds later i remember my dad saying: "I think he's gone."
I cant forget the image of my Uncle. he is the ultimate Bloke. He is an engineer. he loves his beer, BBQs, normally a very loud guy.. He was crying as he leaned close and whispered. "Goodbye Dad, I love you."
I think ive passed through denial. It sucks. I can see the brighter side. but doesnt stop the pain.
I took a break at work this arvo and walked outside to watch the sunset. It had been clouded and rainy all day, but in the afternoon. the most gorgeous sunset ive seen in ages.
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Sunday, September 05, 2004
PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING. THIS IS THE OSH TASKFORCE SPEAKING
ALL PEOPLE ARE TO AVOID THE FOLLOWING BLOGS DUE TO er...RODENT INFESTATION!
yes..RODENT INFESTATION REPORTED IN THE FOLLOWING BLOGS:
Mike - The Purple Pill - crazedmechanic.blogspot.com
AVOID THIS SITE AT ALL COSTS!
THANK YOU
Usmell. A. Ratineah
Chief of Staff. Australian OSH
ALL PEOPLE ARE TO AVOID THE FOLLOWING BLOGS DUE TO er...RODENT INFESTATION!
yes..RODENT INFESTATION REPORTED IN THE FOLLOWING BLOGS:
Mike - The Purple Pill - crazedmechanic.blogspot.com
AVOID THIS SITE AT ALL COSTS!
THANK YOU
Usmell. A. Ratineah
Chief of Staff. Australian OSH
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Friday, September 03, 2004
Well, its now 1:30am. and here i am blogging. i have to get up in 4 hours to work. And between now and 7pm i have to do a whole lotta stuff which i hope to have time for including preparing a vocal item for our Congregation's whizzbang concert that I'm co-MCing tonight.
but I need to post this.
************
My Grandad.
MY Grandad is 90 years old. He's dying. Im not sure how long he has, but everyone seems to think its weeks at best, possibly days. Im praying otherwise but I know that its in God's hands.
Who is he? Its a question ive been asking myself lately. Do i know who he is? what he's done? I owe my existence to him from a certain point of view, and yet, i know hardly anything about him. so here is a collection of what i know, its a small kind of tribute to his life, such as i know.
Bernard Alfred Reeves was born in 1914, the year that WW1 started. He was born (to the best of my knowledge) in Gympie, which is in North Queensland. He had a brother, Keith. His dad (my Great-Grandad) was a cattle farmer.
Bernie grew up, and had a good education. He was intelligent, and studied Greek, French, Latin and English. He wanted to be a Geologist. This plan was upset by the Great Depression. All studies and directions he had planned had to be cut short. He returned to the farm, and became a career Dairy farmer, basing out of a farm at Imbil, near Gympie. (this is around the years of 1932-1939)
War broke out in Europe. After having given up his first chosen career to become a farmer to help support himself and his family (having to help with Dad and Brother) he was forced to join the Australian Army and was called up for service. IT was just before he left to join the war that he met Florence. Four days later they got married, and a few days after this, Bernie was sent to Papua New Guinea.
In PNG he served as a Signaller due to his knowledge of languages and other studies, relaying Morse coded messages to the allied forces. He also saw active combat duty against the Japanese, which he never liked to talk about.
After four years of service the war was over and he could go back to his wife. He settled down with her and took over the running of the farm. (Im not sure what happened to Great Grandad.) I have been told that Bernie was always being picked on by his Brother and Father, though im not sure why. (see how much i dont know) In the following 30 years (1945-1970s) Grandad devoted himself to working the farm to support his family, which now included Five sons.in order of age: Ross, Ian, Peter, Kim, and Stewart. (Peter, born in 1955 is my Father). It was hard raising this lot and still working the farm. Grandad was always so busy, so it fell a lot to my Grandmother, Florence to raise them. Florence was a religious woman, Church of England. The boys grew up and went through primary to secondary and all bar one into University. I think all of them ended up at UQ! And they married and started to have families of their own too. Matt, my cousin was born in 1979.
It was after seeing only her first Grandchild that my Grandma passed away from breast cancer. I never knew her and consequently know nothing about her except what i have heard of her from my Dad (which isnt much).
Grandad was alone. his brother and Dad had died a while back. And with all the kids gone to start their own lives it was lonely for him.
Not long after this, he met Iris. A british woman who had also been recently widowed. they got to know eachother and eventually Married. This is the woman i know as my Grandma. They were both around 60-odd and retired to the farm in Imbil where Grandad had spent most of his life.
I remember this farm fondly. I remember the rocky path that led up to it, i remember all the anecdotes my dad told us, about taking the skin off his back in a toboggan accident and trying to hide it from his mum. I remember the way the blowflies zipped around, and how the grass was always so tall and dry. I remember planting vegetables and picking strawberries with my brother and my Grandad. I remember listening to the Kookaburras and the Magpies in the mornign on the balcony, overlooking a postcard Aussie Countryside. I remember the distinct smell of the old lived in house. It was there that i developed a taste for cat biscuits. :) And there that we used to play long games of cards and yahtzee with Grandma and Grandad.
THese days were to end though, in 1993 Grandma (my step Grandma) had finally persuaded Grandad to take her back to England because she missed her homeland. There was a big farewell, one of the only times in my memory that the whole extended family was ever together. Grandad and Grandma went off over to England to live together there. We went and visited their home in 1995 as part of a three month round the world holiday. It was in Newick, East Sussex, close to Grandmas relatives. Grandad was happy for a while, but he too started to miss the country of his birth, but was torn between this and his love for his wife. He stayed there for 6 years, and came back to Australia for the Summer twice in this period, much to the annoyance of Grandma.
in 2000 he and Grandma decided the best thing to do would be for him to go and live in Australia. I cant imagine the situation. It was a 'If you leave you wont be coming back, because you are abandoning me' thing. I always thought though, that Grandma had a way of guilting Grandad into doing things, and he, being soft hearted would always acquiesce. Not this time. Grandad travelled back to Australia (Peter Allen's 'I Still call Australia home' comes to mind).
For the next 3 years Grandad stayed at our home. THe other brothers had him over occasionally, but in one of the biggest displays of apathy i have ever seen, they didnt seem to care about his fate. My dad was the only one of five brothers willing to take Grandad in. So it was that Grandad came to live with us. I remember playing cards at night with him, and having some good convos.
He was getting old, and had already had a stroke when living in England, so he was not as virile as he used to be, but he was still pretty much with it in the head until about halfway through last year, when it was discovered that he had a form of leukemia. Lymphatic cancer, where his white blood cells and immune system were being destroyed.
He was in and out of hostpital in this time, and this put a huge strain on our family. Along with the Leukemia came Dementia. Grandad gradually started to lose his memory and become more egocentric (reverting to childhood). When he was not in hospital he would stay at our house.
I remember these times as not being the best. the JW's tried to talk to him, and i hoped they had some success. (Iris had been a JW herself. Grandad had not been to a church in a long while, although we sometimes took him with us if he was awake. A high point of this time was Grandad's Baptism at our Church.)
Eventually the family couldnt provide the care he needed (we were at work/school/uni) and so he was put in a retirement home about 5 min drive away from out home, where we continued to visit him.
In the last two weeks, the cancer has returned, this time in his upper mouth. the Doctors say that all the effort it would take would only prolong the suffering, so no more treatment is being administered save that of pallative care. Just this week, he could no longer remember Stewart, his youngest son, (who hardly ever visited him anyway). And had difficulty remembering my Dad, who visited every day. I went to see him today, and he was snoozing, he kind of woke up, and i think he acknowledged me, and said thanks for visiting? im not sure he knew who i was, and i think the pain medicine is making him a bit drowsy.
Im just thinking these could be the last days i have with him. Its sad. I want to know so much more about him, but now he wont be able to tell me. I can only pray that God has opened Grandad's heart to him, and that i will see him again. My grandad said to me once: "I have never been happy in my life" this was after dementia had started to set in, so i think this remark is not entirely accurate.
One thing he said before dementia though when i asked him did he believe? he said: "I believe in the Lord Jesus." So there is a comfort.
I often wonder what his other kids think. one of them NEVER paid him a visit in the hospital or the home. How can they do this? I really will never understand my uncles.
Grandad had a hard life. the depression and the war hurting him and his dreams. he did the best he could in really krap circumstances. He provided and raised a family,
and was loyal to Iris and still loved her even in the seperated years.
Thank you God, for the life of Bernard Alfred Reeves.
Thank you Bernie.
Thank you Grandad.
May God be the Lamp for your feet and a light to your path.
SAM
but I need to post this.
************
My Grandad.
MY Grandad is 90 years old. He's dying. Im not sure how long he has, but everyone seems to think its weeks at best, possibly days. Im praying otherwise but I know that its in God's hands.
Who is he? Its a question ive been asking myself lately. Do i know who he is? what he's done? I owe my existence to him from a certain point of view, and yet, i know hardly anything about him. so here is a collection of what i know, its a small kind of tribute to his life, such as i know.
Bernard Alfred Reeves was born in 1914, the year that WW1 started. He was born (to the best of my knowledge) in Gympie, which is in North Queensland. He had a brother, Keith. His dad (my Great-Grandad) was a cattle farmer.
Bernie grew up, and had a good education. He was intelligent, and studied Greek, French, Latin and English. He wanted to be a Geologist. This plan was upset by the Great Depression. All studies and directions he had planned had to be cut short. He returned to the farm, and became a career Dairy farmer, basing out of a farm at Imbil, near Gympie. (this is around the years of 1932-1939)
War broke out in Europe. After having given up his first chosen career to become a farmer to help support himself and his family (having to help with Dad and Brother) he was forced to join the Australian Army and was called up for service. IT was just before he left to join the war that he met Florence. Four days later they got married, and a few days after this, Bernie was sent to Papua New Guinea.
In PNG he served as a Signaller due to his knowledge of languages and other studies, relaying Morse coded messages to the allied forces. He also saw active combat duty against the Japanese, which he never liked to talk about.
After four years of service the war was over and he could go back to his wife. He settled down with her and took over the running of the farm. (Im not sure what happened to Great Grandad.) I have been told that Bernie was always being picked on by his Brother and Father, though im not sure why. (see how much i dont know) In the following 30 years (1945-1970s) Grandad devoted himself to working the farm to support his family, which now included Five sons.in order of age: Ross, Ian, Peter, Kim, and Stewart. (Peter, born in 1955 is my Father). It was hard raising this lot and still working the farm. Grandad was always so busy, so it fell a lot to my Grandmother, Florence to raise them. Florence was a religious woman, Church of England. The boys grew up and went through primary to secondary and all bar one into University. I think all of them ended up at UQ! And they married and started to have families of their own too. Matt, my cousin was born in 1979.
It was after seeing only her first Grandchild that my Grandma passed away from breast cancer. I never knew her and consequently know nothing about her except what i have heard of her from my Dad (which isnt much).
Grandad was alone. his brother and Dad had died a while back. And with all the kids gone to start their own lives it was lonely for him.
Not long after this, he met Iris. A british woman who had also been recently widowed. they got to know eachother and eventually Married. This is the woman i know as my Grandma. They were both around 60-odd and retired to the farm in Imbil where Grandad had spent most of his life.
I remember this farm fondly. I remember the rocky path that led up to it, i remember all the anecdotes my dad told us, about taking the skin off his back in a toboggan accident and trying to hide it from his mum. I remember the way the blowflies zipped around, and how the grass was always so tall and dry. I remember planting vegetables and picking strawberries with my brother and my Grandad. I remember listening to the Kookaburras and the Magpies in the mornign on the balcony, overlooking a postcard Aussie Countryside. I remember the distinct smell of the old lived in house. It was there that i developed a taste for cat biscuits. :) And there that we used to play long games of cards and yahtzee with Grandma and Grandad.
THese days were to end though, in 1993 Grandma (my step Grandma) had finally persuaded Grandad to take her back to England because she missed her homeland. There was a big farewell, one of the only times in my memory that the whole extended family was ever together. Grandad and Grandma went off over to England to live together there. We went and visited their home in 1995 as part of a three month round the world holiday. It was in Newick, East Sussex, close to Grandmas relatives. Grandad was happy for a while, but he too started to miss the country of his birth, but was torn between this and his love for his wife. He stayed there for 6 years, and came back to Australia for the Summer twice in this period, much to the annoyance of Grandma.
in 2000 he and Grandma decided the best thing to do would be for him to go and live in Australia. I cant imagine the situation. It was a 'If you leave you wont be coming back, because you are abandoning me' thing. I always thought though, that Grandma had a way of guilting Grandad into doing things, and he, being soft hearted would always acquiesce. Not this time. Grandad travelled back to Australia (Peter Allen's 'I Still call Australia home' comes to mind).
For the next 3 years Grandad stayed at our home. THe other brothers had him over occasionally, but in one of the biggest displays of apathy i have ever seen, they didnt seem to care about his fate. My dad was the only one of five brothers willing to take Grandad in. So it was that Grandad came to live with us. I remember playing cards at night with him, and having some good convos.
He was getting old, and had already had a stroke when living in England, so he was not as virile as he used to be, but he was still pretty much with it in the head until about halfway through last year, when it was discovered that he had a form of leukemia. Lymphatic cancer, where his white blood cells and immune system were being destroyed.
He was in and out of hostpital in this time, and this put a huge strain on our family. Along with the Leukemia came Dementia. Grandad gradually started to lose his memory and become more egocentric (reverting to childhood). When he was not in hospital he would stay at our house.
I remember these times as not being the best. the JW's tried to talk to him, and i hoped they had some success. (Iris had been a JW herself. Grandad had not been to a church in a long while, although we sometimes took him with us if he was awake. A high point of this time was Grandad's Baptism at our Church.)
Eventually the family couldnt provide the care he needed (we were at work/school/uni) and so he was put in a retirement home about 5 min drive away from out home, where we continued to visit him.
In the last two weeks, the cancer has returned, this time in his upper mouth. the Doctors say that all the effort it would take would only prolong the suffering, so no more treatment is being administered save that of pallative care. Just this week, he could no longer remember Stewart, his youngest son, (who hardly ever visited him anyway). And had difficulty remembering my Dad, who visited every day. I went to see him today, and he was snoozing, he kind of woke up, and i think he acknowledged me, and said thanks for visiting? im not sure he knew who i was, and i think the pain medicine is making him a bit drowsy.
Im just thinking these could be the last days i have with him. Its sad. I want to know so much more about him, but now he wont be able to tell me. I can only pray that God has opened Grandad's heart to him, and that i will see him again. My grandad said to me once: "I have never been happy in my life" this was after dementia had started to set in, so i think this remark is not entirely accurate.
One thing he said before dementia though when i asked him did he believe? he said: "I believe in the Lord Jesus." So there is a comfort.
I often wonder what his other kids think. one of them NEVER paid him a visit in the hospital or the home. How can they do this? I really will never understand my uncles.
Grandad had a hard life. the depression and the war hurting him and his dreams. he did the best he could in really krap circumstances. He provided and raised a family,
and was loyal to Iris and still loved her even in the seperated years.
Thank you God, for the life of Bernard Alfred Reeves.
Thank you Bernie.
Thank you Grandad.
May God be the Lamp for your feet and a light to your path.
SAM
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004
ROUND 2
Tis Wednesday now. three days after first meeting Monsiuer Mike! :) And, pretty much, thats been the main event of the week. Monday, Poker was called off, so Mike and I and another of my friends - Alex, a Muso - attended our weekly session of network/internet gaming in Toowong! Games played: Battlefield 1942, UT was attempted, but not enough CD keys, and a very very cool and macho fist fight in Doom 3! you should have been there! we floated like a butterfly and stung like a Bee! fists only makes for some interesting gameplay! :D (although SOME people felt the need to go around pressing buttons and activating the compactor when i was standing in the arena! :P)
After this session we had dinner at the 'Super Chicken' in Toowong, (what exactly makes it so super i have NO idea! :P) And, since there was nothing happening, headed to the South Saide ostensibly to check out Dicey O'Reilies at Garden City (an Irish Pub) but as it was only Monday night, that was pretty quiet too. (I swear Mike is gonna think Brisbane is a Hick town where nothing happens!) So we ended up going to the BCC Megaplex cinemas and checking out the Bourne Supremacy. decent movie that. but, as Mike said: One that could also be watched on Video!
Tuesday was the big 'tour of Uni day'. I had to have a meeting with an academic advisor in the morning to talk about changing degrees or the possibility of doing post-grad stuff. That was a total failure. the advisor wasnt there, i got transferred and it all end in tears. well, it all ended anyway! :D so went to pick up the Mikster, and headed back out to Uni! Walked around all the buildings, went through to the Engineering one, and Mike got some info there. Then arranged a meeting of mates at the Red Room (our Uni Bar). We got there, but as my mates had an Education tute in half an hour, we decided to crash the tute then come back! so, for the next hour, Mike experieced a UQ Education Tutorial! much talk about 'Teacher Socialisation' and 'Ethics of Teaching'. Hope you weren't too bored there Mike! but we got free Red Stress houses from these people at the Red Room, so we were set for the tute.
After Tute, went back to the Red Room, and ordered our lunch. Friends of mine were there. Clayton, Zoe, Matt, Sarah. They all do Educ too the poor fools! And I will be the first to admit it. I am a complete spaz. i have no co-ordination. at least i didnt that day! Because I ended up knocking my Half full Schooner of XXXX Bitter over Mike's travelling sack thing. *hides face in shame* soooo sorry Mike! unbelieveably so! if you read this before you leave feel free to take one free hit! or at least send me the de-odorifying bill!
But yep! Mike got to meet some more of my 'friends'. Who delighted in bringing up nearly every sordid detail of my past to embarrass me! :P With friends like these....
We retreated back to Wombee, which is the name for the house habited by the four girls (Zoe, Courtney, Sarah and Lorelle). Very much like Hermil i guess, except with more Possums! :D And formed a Quorum. (dont ask! :P) whereupon after much deliberation we moved that we go bowling! it was seconded and there was much rejoicing! So, we headed out to Milton Bowling alley, and played two games :) Mike is not too shabby. He won the first round! but i must claim championship of the second!
The main event of the Day (for me anyway!) was Smallgroup that night! :) which allowed Mike to experience a fully Luthrean group! :D poor boy! It was a very different night from usual, we actually watched a video for half an hour of this pastor guy. but what he said was very informative! And then had our convos.
Through these days Mike i know, has taken some pictures of my mates and I. this means my long stint at anonymity is nearing an end! and tis time to step out of the darkness and into the light! :D
today was Wednesday and i didnt go to Uni till late! spent entirely too much time on MSN ^_^ and just then had pizza for dinner! and thats the go so far!
******
On a more serious note, I will be posting on something else tomorrow to do with my Grandad. I had to get this out of the way before i forgot it, and didnt want to do two posts in the same day! :)
SAM
Tis Wednesday now. three days after first meeting Monsiuer Mike! :) And, pretty much, thats been the main event of the week. Monday, Poker was called off, so Mike and I and another of my friends - Alex, a Muso - attended our weekly session of network/internet gaming in Toowong! Games played: Battlefield 1942, UT was attempted, but not enough CD keys, and a very very cool and macho fist fight in Doom 3! you should have been there! we floated like a butterfly and stung like a Bee! fists only makes for some interesting gameplay! :D (although SOME people felt the need to go around pressing buttons and activating the compactor when i was standing in the arena! :P)
After this session we had dinner at the 'Super Chicken' in Toowong, (what exactly makes it so super i have NO idea! :P) And, since there was nothing happening, headed to the South Saide ostensibly to check out Dicey O'Reilies at Garden City (an Irish Pub) but as it was only Monday night, that was pretty quiet too. (I swear Mike is gonna think Brisbane is a Hick town where nothing happens!) So we ended up going to the BCC Megaplex cinemas and checking out the Bourne Supremacy. decent movie that. but, as Mike said: One that could also be watched on Video!
Tuesday was the big 'tour of Uni day'. I had to have a meeting with an academic advisor in the morning to talk about changing degrees or the possibility of doing post-grad stuff. That was a total failure. the advisor wasnt there, i got transferred and it all end in tears. well, it all ended anyway! :D so went to pick up the Mikster, and headed back out to Uni! Walked around all the buildings, went through to the Engineering one, and Mike got some info there. Then arranged a meeting of mates at the Red Room (our Uni Bar). We got there, but as my mates had an Education tute in half an hour, we decided to crash the tute then come back! so, for the next hour, Mike experieced a UQ Education Tutorial! much talk about 'Teacher Socialisation' and 'Ethics of Teaching'. Hope you weren't too bored there Mike! but we got free Red Stress houses from these people at the Red Room, so we were set for the tute.
After Tute, went back to the Red Room, and ordered our lunch. Friends of mine were there. Clayton, Zoe, Matt, Sarah. They all do Educ too the poor fools! And I will be the first to admit it. I am a complete spaz. i have no co-ordination. at least i didnt that day! Because I ended up knocking my Half full Schooner of XXXX Bitter over Mike's travelling sack thing. *hides face in shame* soooo sorry Mike! unbelieveably so! if you read this before you leave feel free to take one free hit! or at least send me the de-odorifying bill!
But yep! Mike got to meet some more of my 'friends'. Who delighted in bringing up nearly every sordid detail of my past to embarrass me! :P With friends like these....
We retreated back to Wombee, which is the name for the house habited by the four girls (Zoe, Courtney, Sarah and Lorelle). Very much like Hermil i guess, except with more Possums! :D And formed a Quorum. (dont ask! :P) whereupon after much deliberation we moved that we go bowling! it was seconded and there was much rejoicing! So, we headed out to Milton Bowling alley, and played two games :) Mike is not too shabby. He won the first round! but i must claim championship of the second!
The main event of the Day (for me anyway!) was Smallgroup that night! :) which allowed Mike to experience a fully Luthrean group! :D poor boy! It was a very different night from usual, we actually watched a video for half an hour of this pastor guy. but what he said was very informative! And then had our convos.
Through these days Mike i know, has taken some pictures of my mates and I. this means my long stint at anonymity is nearing an end! and tis time to step out of the darkness and into the light! :D
today was Wednesday and i didnt go to Uni till late! spent entirely too much time on MSN ^_^ and just then had pizza for dinner! and thats the go so far!
******
On a more serious note, I will be posting on something else tomorrow to do with my Grandad. I had to get this out of the way before i forgot it, and didnt want to do two posts in the same day! :)
SAM
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